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Are you afraid, Tessa?

Jenny Downham

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Jenny Downham
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: January 1
Actor
Author
Film Actor
Novelist
Writer
Inner and Outer London
Tessa
Afraid

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. . . my bones they'll burn or bury. It'll be my death.
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I can see inside planes!' he yells. 'Come and look!' It's difficult climbing in a mini dress...I haul myself up even though my arms ache. I want to see inside planes too. I want to watch the wind and catch birds in my fist.
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when I was four I almost fell down the shaft of a tin mine and when I was five the car rolled over on the motorway and when I was seven we went on holiday and the gas ring blew out in the caravan and nobody noticed I've been dying all my life
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I made a fatal error thinking he could save me.
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Maybe I’ll come back as somebody else. I’ll be the wild-haired girl Adam meets in his first week at university. ‘Hi, are you on the horticultural course as well?
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I'm me and you're you, and all of them out there are them. And we're all so different and equally unimportant.
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Keep breathing. Just keep doing it. It's easy. In and out.
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I've always wanted to be a cat. Warm and domesticated when you want to be, wild when you don't.
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It's a shame i can't be there myself - i like parties. Text me if you think of any good hymns!
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Every breath, every heartbeat, was one less until maybe things stopped hurting this much.
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Hold my hand. Don't let go.
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Perhaps I'm dead. Perhaps this is all it will be. The living will carry on in their world – touching, walking. And I'll continue in this empty world, tapping soundlessly on the glass between us.
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The inside of the door is glossy white. A total re-paint. I touch it with my fingers, but it stays the same. It's so bright it makes the room waver at the edges. Every few years we disappear.
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Don't pretend to care. I don't need you as an anesthetic.
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If you want a girl to like you, you have to listen like a woman and love like a man.
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I want you to be with me in the dark. To hold me. To keep loving me. To help me when I get scared. To come right to the edge and see what's there.
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Every seven years our bodies change, every cell. Every seven years, we disappear.
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I lean back on the pillows and look at the corners of the room. When I was a kid, I always wanted to live on the ceiling - it looked so clean and uncluttered, like the top of a cake.
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