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Are you afraid, Tessa?
Jenny Downham
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Jenny Downham
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: January 1
Actor
Author
Film Actor
Novelist
Writer
Inner and Outer London
Tessa
Afraid
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I've always wanted to be a cat. Warm and domesticated when you want to be, wild when you don't.
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Statement: A girl and a boy jump into a river. The boy swims over to the girl and says, God, it's cold. Question: What's the probability they will kiss?
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Perhaps I'm dead. Perhaps this is all it will be. The living will carry on in their world – touching, walking. And I'll continue in this empty world, tapping soundlessly on the glass between us.
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Don't pretend to care. I don't need you as an anesthetic.
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She needed food. Diets didn't count in a crisis.
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You changed the rules of the universe when you fell in love with the enemy.
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I wish I had a boyfriend. I wish he lived in the wardrobe on a coat hanger. Whenever I wanted, I could get him out and he'd look at me the way boys do in films, as if I'm beautiful.
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The inside of the door is glossy white. A total re-paint. I touch it with my fingers, but it stays the same. It's so bright it makes the room waver at the edges. Every few years we disappear.
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I want you to be with me in the dark. To hold me. To keep loving me. To help me when I get scared. To come right to the edge and see what's there.
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Was this love? Because it hurt. It was like a bit of glass stuck somewhere important--his heart or his head, and it was throbbing.
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It's a shame i can't be there myself - i like parties. Text me if you think of any good hymns!
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Every seven years our bodies change, every cell. Every seven years, we disappear.
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Her skin tasted expensive.
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I miss him as soon as he goes. When he isn't with me, I think I made him up.
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Instructions for Adam Look after no one except yourself. Go to university and make lots of friends and get drunk. Forget your door keyes. Laugh. Eat pot-noodles for breakfast. Miss lectures. Be irresponsible.
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She'd never in her whole life bunked school, smoked dope, or kissed a boy whose name she didn't know, and yet in the last few days, she'd done all these things.
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Adam strokes my head, my face, he kisses my tears. We are blessed. Let them all go. The sound of a bird flying low across the garden. Then nothing. Nothing. A cloud passes. Nothing again. Light falls through the window, falls onto me, into me. Moments. All gathering towards this one.
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Maybe I’ll come back as somebody else. I’ll be the wild-haired girl Adam meets in his first week at university. ‘Hi, are you on the horticultural course as well?
Jenny Downham
I made a fatal error thinking he could save me.
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