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I can see inside planes!' he yells. 'Come and look!' It's difficult climbing in a mini dress...I haul myself up even though my arms ache. I want to see inside planes too. I want to watch the wind and catch birds in my fist.
Jenny Downham
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Jenny Downham
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: January 1
Actor
Author
Film Actor
Novelist
Writer
Inner and Outer London
Wind
Birds
Yells
Inside
Catch
Mini
Though
Dress
Haul
Difficult
Dresses
Fist
Look
Bird
Fists
Come
Watches
Ache
Looks
Watch
Climbing
Even
Arms
Planes
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And now he's down this for me. He's made me famous. He's put my name on the world.
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Nurses never tell you what they know. They're hired for their cheeriness and the thickness of their hair. They need to look alive and healthy, to give the patients something to aim for.
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It hurts and hurts to have him this close. I feel sick with it.
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As an actor I worked for seven years with a community theater company based in London. We used improvisation techniques to take stories to young people who wouldn't normally have access to them - in prisons, hospitals, young offender's units, youth clubs and housing estates.
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Don't think you have to be good because you're the only one left. Be as bad as you like.
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I want to die in my own way. It's my illness, my death, my choice. This is what saying yes means.
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Statement: A girl and a boy jump into a river. The boy swims over to the girl and says, God, it's cold. Question: What's the probability they will kiss?
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Keep breathing. Just keep doing it. It's easy. In and out.
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I love you. I love you. I send this message through my fingers and into his, up his arm and into his heart. Hear me. I love you. And I'm sorry to leave you.
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Death straps me to the hospital bed, claws its way onto my chest and sits there.I didn't know it would hurt this much. I didn't know that everything good that's ever happened in my life would be emptied out by it.
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You changed the rules of the universe when you fell in love with the enemy.
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I shrug him off. 'Can't you just go away? There's a moment. It has a sound in it, as if something very small got broken.
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She'll understand what I already know - that death surrounds us all. And it tastes like metal between your teeth.
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No, really. I free you.' I don't want to be free.
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Adam strokes my head, my face, he kisses my tears. We are blessed. Let them all go. The sound of a bird flying low across the garden. Then nothing. Nothing. A cloud passes. Nothing again. Light falls through the window, falls onto me, into me. Moments. All gathering towards this one.
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We make patterns, we share moments.
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Are you afraid, Tessa?
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If I learnt anything at all about terminal illness in my research, it's that the experience is different for everyone. I do believe that life becomes concentrated when it's boundaried and that death is the biggest boundary of all.
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