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You got shot at and you still got me an air conditioner.

Jennifer Crusie

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Jennifer Crusie
Age: 75
Born: 1949
Born: September 17
Author
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Writer
Wapakoneta
Ohio
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More quotes by Jennifer Crusie

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You’ve always been nuts. That’s fine. I can deal with nuts. But lately, you’ve been depressed nuts. I can’t deal with that. - Anthony
Jennifer Crusie
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If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to be a horrible warning. -Gwen Goodnight
Jennifer Crusie
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I could shove this swizzle stick through his heart, Min thought. She would'nt do it, of course. The stick was plastic and not nearly pointed enough on the end.
Jennifer Crusie
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Drink to me! I just realized that I've slept with everyone at this table! ~Nell
Jennifer Crusie
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It's a good thing he broke up with you because now you're free for when the right man finds you. Your prince is on his way. Right. I'm sure he was on his way but a truck hit him.
Jennifer Crusie
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That’s not a father. That’s a sperm donor. Forget him. He’s a mess. Concentrate on me. I’m terrific. (Linc Blaise)
Jennifer Crusie
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A lot of really big trees had died to make that desk. His mother had probably gnawed them down, used her nails to saw the boards, and finished the decorative cutwork with her tongue.
Jennifer Crusie
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Where were all the women gamblers? It wasn't as if being a woman wasn't a huge risk all by itself. Twenty-eight percent of female homocide victims were killed by husbands or lovers. Which, come to think of it, was probably why there weren't any women gamblers. Living with men was enough of a gamble.
Jennifer Crusie
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Can we go to work now? Because we're about a minute away from breaking out the ice cream and talking about our feelings, and I don't think we can come back from that.
Jennifer Crusie
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What i'm trying to tell you, Min said, is that im going to grow up to be one of those chubby old ladies. It's in my genes. Like self raising flour. i'm going to pouf. thats going to work out well for me, Cal said. because i'm going to grow up to be one of those horny old men who chases chubby old ladies around the couch.
Jennifer Crusie
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Once you know the truth, it's always obvious
Jennifer Crusie
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There wasn't enough gratitude in the world for a server who kept drinks coming at a time like this.
Jennifer Crusie
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Your cat just got cat hair on me.” “It’s only fair,” Min said. “Your suit just got expensive suit lint on him.
Jennifer Crusie
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Of course it hurt you neanderthal! See that? Thats blood. If theres blood, theres pain. Its like smoke and fire.
Jennifer Crusie
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So I know you must have a plan and this wolf— Beast, Min said. —frog, whatever, can't fit your plan. He's not a frog, Min said. I kissed him and he did not turn into a prince.He turned into a god. No, he didn't . Look, I'm never going to see him again, so everybody can relax.
Jennifer Crusie
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Breasts are very important for women. Their clothes just don't hang right without them.
Jennifer Crusie
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Part of being a writer is defending your vision and not caving in to outside pressures.
Jennifer Crusie
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Feel no guilt. Getting married and giving birth does not mean that you have sold your life away to perfectly healthy people who can get their own damn socks.
Jennifer Crusie
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she was just…beaming at me, and I thought she’d won the lottery or something, her smile was that big. I asked what happened, and she said…” Park swallowed again. “She said, ‘You’re here.”’ He blinked at Tess. “‘You’re here.’ That’s all it was. That big goofy smile just because I was there. Nobody ever smiled like that at me before.
Jennifer Crusie
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We're going to need a bigger dock
Jennifer Crusie