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That’s not a father. That’s a sperm donor. Forget him. He’s a mess. Concentrate on me. I’m terrific. (Linc Blaise)
Jennifer Crusie
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Jennifer Crusie
Age: 75
Born: 1949
Born: September 17
Author
Novelist
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Wapakoneta
Ohio
Forget
Father
Sperm
Donor
Donors
Concentrate
Terrific
Mess
More quotes by Jennifer Crusie
Broaden your horizons. They're the only ones you'll ever have, so make the suckers as wide as possible.
Jennifer Crusie
What i'm trying to tell you, Min said, is that im going to grow up to be one of those chubby old ladies. It's in my genes. Like self raising flour. i'm going to pouf. thats going to work out well for me, Cal said. because i'm going to grow up to be one of those horny old men who chases chubby old ladies around the couch.
Jennifer Crusie
There wasn't enough gratitude in the world for a server who kept drinks coming at a time like this.
Jennifer Crusie
Real life doesn't have to suck.
Jennifer Crusie
Phin spared a moment of sympathy for Frank until he looked back and saw him at the bar, leaning into Clea’s cleavage. Get a grip, Frank, he thought, and then he looked down Sophie’s dress and thought, Never mind, Frank.
Jennifer Crusie
His sentences didn't seem to have any verbs, which was par for a politician. All nouns, no action.
Jennifer Crusie
Your cat just got cat hair on me.” “It’s only fair,” Min said. “Your suit just got expensive suit lint on him.
Jennifer Crusie
Drink to me! I just realized that I've slept with everyone at this table! ~Nell
Jennifer Crusie
have you ever met a woman you wanted to give everything to? just turn over everything you had? -Davy Dempsey-
Jennifer Crusie
I could shove this swizzle stick through his heart, Min thought. She would'nt do it, of course. The stick was plastic and not nearly pointed enough on the end.
Jennifer Crusie
Have you talked to North? he said. Yes, she said. I asked him to get us cable. I wish you weren't talking to him. I'd talk to Satan to get cable, Andie said.
Jennifer Crusie
Look, I'm not ready for you, Min said. I'm not prepared. I don't have any defenses when you're around. I make these plans and I mean it, I really do, and then I kiss you because I'm crazy about you which would be fine if I didn't fall in love with you but there that is, just standing there, and you know it, you know you've got me.
Jennifer Crusie
A lot of really big trees had died to make that desk. His mother had probably gnawed them down, used her nails to saw the boards, and finished the decorative cutwork with her tongue.
Jennifer Crusie
Trying to seduce Alec at all was a waste of time he came preseduced anyway. Like a microwave entrée. You pressed his buttons, and he got hot.
Jennifer Crusie
I believe things will work out for us if we just believe in ourselves.
Jennifer Crusie
The measuring and mixing always smoothed out her thinking processes - nothing was as calming as creaming butter - and when the kitchen was warm from the oven overheating and the smell of baking chocolate, she took final stock of where she'd been and where she was going. Everything was fine.
Jennifer Crusie
As far as I'm concerned the last good man went when Elvis died.
Jennifer Crusie
It's a good thing he broke up with you because now you're free for when the right man finds you. Your prince is on his way. Right. I'm sure he was on his way but a truck hit him.
Jennifer Crusie
You know who you remind me of? The kid cop in Lethal Weapon 3. You know, the one who says, 'it's my twenty-first birthday today', and right away you know he's dead meat?
Jennifer Crusie
Well, you won't unless you come to lunch with me, Cal said. I'm holding it for ransom. There's a gun to its heel right now. I have lunch at my desk, Min began, and thought,Oh, for crying out loud, could I beany more pathetic ? Emilio is experimenting with a lunch menu. He needs you. I need you.
Jennifer Crusie