Quote

Have you talked to North? he said. Yes, she said. I asked him to get us cable. I wish you weren't talking to him. I'd talk to Satan to get cable, Andie said.

Jennifer Crusie

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Jennifer Crusie
Age: 75
Born: 1949
Born: September 17
Author
Novelist
Writer
Wapakoneta
Ohio
Asked
Talk
Talking
Cable
Wish
Cables
Talked
Satan
North
Weren

More quotes by Jennifer Crusie

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Feel no guilt. Getting married and giving birth does not mean that you have sold your life away to perfectly healthy people who can get their own damn socks.
Jennifer Crusie
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Nobody in my life has ever known me the way you do. Nobody in my life has ever made me feel as good as you do. You know me, you know everything about me, and when you leave me, you're going to be leaving the real me, the me nobody else has ever seen, that's who you're going to be rejecting.
Jennifer Crusie
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I'm Min's fairy godmother, Charm Boy,' Liza said, frowning down at him. 'And if you don't give her a happily ever after, I'm going to come back and beat you to death with a snow globe.' What happened to bibbity bobbity boo?' Cal asked Min. That was Disney, honey,' Min said. 'It wasn't a documentary.
Jennifer Crusie
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So I know you must have a plan and this wolf— Beast, Min said. —frog, whatever, can't fit your plan. He's not a frog, Min said. I kissed him and he did not turn into a prince.He turned into a god. No, he didn't . Look, I'm never going to see him again, so everybody can relax.
Jennifer Crusie
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I could shove this swizzle stick through his heart, Min thought. She would'nt do it, of course. The stick was plastic and not nearly pointed enough on the end.
Jennifer Crusie
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Of course it hurt you neanderthal! See that? Thats blood. If theres blood, theres pain. Its like smoke and fire.
Jennifer Crusie
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Broaden your horizons. They're the only ones you'll ever have, so make the suckers as wide as possible.
Jennifer Crusie
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That’s not a father. That’s a sperm donor. Forget him. He’s a mess. Concentrate on me. I’m terrific. (Linc Blaise)
Jennifer Crusie
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Nothing but good times ahead.
Jennifer Crusie
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There wasn't enough gratitude in the world for a server who kept drinks coming at a time like this.
Jennifer Crusie
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Well, you won't unless you come to lunch with me, Cal said. I'm holding it for ransom. There's a gun to its heel right now. I have lunch at my desk, Min began, and thought,Oh, for crying out loud, could I beany more pathetic ? Emilio is experimenting with a lunch menu. He needs you. I need you.
Jennifer Crusie
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Once you know the truth, it's always obvious
Jennifer Crusie
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A bar would not be a good career move for you.
Jennifer Crusie
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His sentences didn't seem to have any verbs, which was par for a politician. All nouns, no action.
Jennifer Crusie
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Dempseys are never in trouble. We just have stretches of life that are more interesting than others.
Jennifer Crusie
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Can we go to work now? Because we're about a minute away from breaking out the ice cream and talking about our feelings, and I don't think we can come back from that.
Jennifer Crusie
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What i'm trying to tell you, Min said, is that im going to grow up to be one of those chubby old ladies. It's in my genes. Like self raising flour. i'm going to pouf. thats going to work out well for me, Cal said. because i'm going to grow up to be one of those horny old men who chases chubby old ladies around the couch.
Jennifer Crusie
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As far as I'm concerned the last good man went when Elvis died.
Jennifer Crusie
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Zach had brought her a dog.
Jennifer Crusie
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Where were all the women gamblers? It wasn't as if being a woman wasn't a huge risk all by itself. Twenty-eight percent of female homocide victims were killed by husbands or lovers. Which, come to think of it, was probably why there weren't any women gamblers. Living with men was enough of a gamble.
Jennifer Crusie