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I'm such a fangirl when it comes to other writers. I read 250 books a year, and I'm always talking up books by other authors.
Jen Lancaster
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Jen Lancaster
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: November 5
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More quotes by Jen Lancaster
I don't care how happily married you are or how deeply enmeshed you are with your children and family and career -- every woman needs a couple of chicks who'll break out the sangria just because you need to vent.
Jen Lancaster
When did the cell phone become a license to be rude? And why must I be subjected to your personal conversations?
Jen Lancaster
Owning a dog is slightly less expensive than being addicted to crack.
Jen Lancaster
No matter how happy anyone is with their choices, I believe it's human nature to wonder about the path not taken.
Jen Lancaster
Ambien might have mentally just tossed my salad. WITH CROUTONS.
Jen Lancaster
I would rather receive a Pap smear from Captain Hook than venture out on New Year's Eve.
Jen Lancaster
Maybe I've moved to the dark side, but it's clean and nice and we never run out of toilet paper.
Jen Lancaster
I'm not lazy. I'm simply judicious about excess movement.
Jen Lancaster
I'm a humor writer, so I don't always present myself in the best light.
Jen Lancaster
I think people tend to be very myopic and they dont understand how their actions impact others.
Jen Lancaster
Were I forced to describe this woman in one word, that word would be...herpes.
Jen Lancaster
I'm very detail oriented. I think that's why people enjoy my memoirs - because I tend to remember everything.
Jen Lancaster
Despite my best efforts, I'm not quite perfect. Let's just say I'm like one of those Hopi blankets where they leave a tiny flaw so as to not affront the Lord.
Jen Lancaster
I believe that I have such a vanilla life.
Jen Lancaster
You can't all of a sudden go to sleep one night and wake up Martha Stewart. It's bit by bit by bit.
Jen Lancaster
Everyone who reads me is someone I'd like to hang out with.
Jen Lancaster
I yearn to be a woman of more depth, but I'm not so fond of the path I'd need to follow to get there.
Jen Lancaster
Amen,' I exclaim, accidentally spitting out a Raisinet. I pick up the chocolate with a Kleenex and stuff it in my purse. Ten bucks says a month from now I'll have forgotten about it and will finally have said heart attack when I assume a rat shat in there.
Jen Lancaster
I can't believe anyone would voluntarily run 26 miles. Sometimes I sit on the couch cross-legged because I don't feel like walking to the bathroom.
Jen Lancaster
You think you're so cool just because you can walk!
Jen Lancaster