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When did the cell phone become a license to be rude? And why must I be subjected to your personal conversations?

Jen Lancaster

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Jen Lancaster
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: November 5
Author
Writer
Conversation
Subjected
Personal
Conversations
Become
License
Must
Cell
Rude
Cells
Phone
Phones

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Everyone who reads me is someone I'd like to hang out with.
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I’m instantly mortified by my fat, uncontrollable mouth, but that’s when it occurs to me that my humor is a self-defense mechanism. Even though I may come off like a stark raving asshat, being funny is the most important tool I have to stay sane. The ability to say what I think is the key to allowing me to feel in control.
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You can't all of a sudden go to sleep one night and wake up Martha Stewart. It's bit by bit by bit.
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I'm very detail oriented. I think that's why people enjoy my memoirs - because I tend to remember everything.
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No matter how happy anyone is with their choices, I believe it's human nature to wonder about the path not taken.
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I would rather receive a Pap smear from Captain Hook than venture out on New Year's Eve.
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I don't care how happily married you are or how deeply enmeshed you are with your children and family and career -- every woman needs a couple of chicks who'll break out the sangria just because you need to vent.
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I'm not lazy. I'm simply judicious about excess movement.
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Were I forced to describe this woman in one word, that word would be...herpes.
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Amen,' I exclaim, accidentally spitting out a Raisinet. I pick up the chocolate with a Kleenex and stuff it in my purse. Ten bucks says a month from now I'll have forgotten about it and will finally have said heart attack when I assume a rat shat in there.
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Some people are destined to be deep thinkers. I am not one of those people.
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Despite my best efforts, I'm not quite perfect. Let's just say I'm like one of those Hopi blankets where they leave a tiny flaw so as to not affront the Lord.
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You think you're so cool just because you can walk!
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I think people tend to be very myopic and they dont understand how their actions impact others.
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