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No, it's not a 'corpse thing.' I feel I lack the emotional capacity to deal with those in mourning.
Jen Lancaster
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Jen Lancaster
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: November 5
Author
Writer
Deals
Feel
Corpse
Feels
Mourning
Thing
Corpses
Lack
Capacity
Emotional
Deal
More quotes by Jen Lancaster
You think you're so cool just because you can walk!
Jen Lancaster
Amen,' I exclaim, accidentally spitting out a Raisinet. I pick up the chocolate with a Kleenex and stuff it in my purse. Ten bucks says a month from now I'll have forgotten about it and will finally have said heart attack when I assume a rat shat in there.
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I'm not lazy. I'm simply judicious about excess movement.
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I believe that I have such a vanilla life.
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Ambien might have mentally just tossed my salad. WITH CROUTONS.
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I've determined the ideal job for me is one where I can write clever essays about my life and my employer will give me enough money not only to live a comfortable existence, but also to buy many, many new pairs of shoes.
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Despite my best efforts, I'm not quite perfect. Let's just say I'm like one of those Hopi blankets where they leave a tiny flaw so as to not affront the Lord.
Jen Lancaster
I would rather receive a Pap smear from Captain Hook than venture out on New Year's Eve.
Jen Lancaster
No matter how happy anyone is with their choices, I believe it's human nature to wonder about the path not taken.
Jen Lancaster
I'm such a fangirl when it comes to other writers. I read 250 books a year, and I'm always talking up books by other authors.
Jen Lancaster
Quinn Cummings is a master story-teller and her book is nothing short of delightful. Her insights into topics like celebrity, parenting, and cats with a taste for homicide are pithy and uproarious and not to be missed. Notes from the Underwire is charming, hilarious, and just snarky enough to be ultimately satisfying.
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Some people are destined to be deep thinkers. I am not one of those people.
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I’m instantly mortified by my fat, uncontrollable mouth, but that’s when it occurs to me that my humor is a self-defense mechanism. Even though I may come off like a stark raving asshat, being funny is the most important tool I have to stay sane. The ability to say what I think is the key to allowing me to feel in control.
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I can't believe anyone would voluntarily run 26 miles. Sometimes I sit on the couch cross-legged because I don't feel like walking to the bathroom.
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I'm very detail oriented. I think that's why people enjoy my memoirs - because I tend to remember everything.
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Were I forced to describe this woman in one word, that word would be...herpes.
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Everyone who reads me is someone I'd like to hang out with.
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Owning a dog is slightly less expensive than being addicted to crack.
Jen Lancaster
I yearn to be a woman of more depth, but I'm not so fond of the path I'd need to follow to get there.
Jen Lancaster
I'm a humor writer, so I don't always present myself in the best light.
Jen Lancaster