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I don't have anything to do all year. I'm not on tour until September.

Jen Kirkman

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Jen Kirkman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: August 28
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Bay State
Anything
Years
September
Tour
Year

More quotes by Jen Kirkman

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I don't know. Maybe [sex-ed] is my new calling?
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What I found out about myself was I am not someone who doesn't believe in marriage.
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Testosterone makes you completely out of control, but that's okay.
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I don't run around feeling infused with positivity, but I'll have to be taking my last breath before I'll admit I'm dying. So I'm either optimistic or in denial.
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My curriculum would be the whole year. It would be really slow and it would be about human anatomy. I would teach people about women's bodies so they understand what Planned Parenthood is for.
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My rule is if one person says it, a thousand people want to say it. That goes for compliments too. I try to balance it out in my head.
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I realized that even I have weird intimacy issues with humans - like, I need my friendships to get deeper, I need to be locked in, I need to remember people's names. I know this sounds really stupid, but I just need to be more present in my life.
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There's something grand and revolutionary still about [women] traveling alone. There are some parts of the world where you can't.
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I'm really ambitious about is being a really good comic and doing it for the rest of my life and getting really big. Not really famous because I want fame or attention, just a little freedom. So, that's where I'm ambitious.
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I stay on [Twitter] because I deserve to.
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I always try to be open to whatever the universe wants from me.
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I really will never understand pushing back on comedians who are like, I'm like a politician campaigning and shaking hands with these people. They're going to be okay.
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I just try to live a moderate life of always checking and trying to be the best person I can be and I'm in therapy and am always working on something.
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I just remember a creepy sex-ed teacher putting a banana on a condom and then saying, It goes in the girl if she gets all juicy. We didn't even believe it. We were like, Well, that's weird.
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There have been many times in my life where I got opportunities that I never thought would be the things that I needed, so I'm always saying, I want to do this but whatever the universe thinks is right, I'm open. Because otherwise it causes me so much pain if I don't get what I want. It's my least favorite thing.
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I'm not like Woody Allen like, Oh my god what's going to happen? Ooh Ooh Oohhh. I'm just high-strung. So I do need to do a lot of stuff.
Jen Kirkman
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It's much easier to make jokes about not having kids.
Jen Kirkman
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[Twitter] certainly doesn't hurt me. I'm not in any pain over any of the things I see. I'm just more disappointed.
Jen Kirkman
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I have a new rule where I only follow fashion people on Instagram.
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I don't like news channels so I have six websites that I check and I get the daily update.
Jen Kirkman