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I just remember a creepy sex-ed teacher putting a banana on a condom and then saying, It goes in the girl if she gets all juicy. We didn't even believe it. We were like, Well, that's weird.
Jen Kirkman
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Jen Kirkman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: August 28
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Bay State
Didn
Weird
Remember
Putting
Wells
Sex
Well
Gets
Condom
Even
Teacher
Juicy
Believe
Goes
Banana
Like
Saying
Bananas
Girl
Creepy
More quotes by Jen Kirkman
It's much easier to make jokes about not having kids.
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I realized I need a certain kind of chemistry and a certain kind of look to be into someone, and like 1 percent of the population has it.
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I don't have anything to do all year. I'm not on tour until September.
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It's like, Women can't handle things because they're always sad. That's estrogen. Men brag about testosterone, which makes them completely out of control too. On the other end of things, it's like, Oh it was just testosterone. He got in a bar fight. Why is that better than crying at work?
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I don't like news channels so I have six websites that I check and I get the daily update.
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I used to make albums because I wasn't touring, and so I thought, This is the best way for people to find out about me.
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I am never home, and it's hard to keep up with things that are good for you to have in life like relationships, whether they be romantic or friendship. I have to work twice as hard to make sure I don't just check out. That's what I mean by vulnerability.
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I put my filter on, though, and I only see things people I follow [on Twitter] write now. So, I don't even know anymore [ trolls].
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Sometimes I look [ on trolls on Twitter], but even one ignorant comment can make me go, Oh god.
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I really will never understand pushing back on comedians who are like, I'm like a politician campaigning and shaking hands with these people. They're going to be okay.
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I mean, I can't say that I've had many deep thoughts because I traveled alone, but it's good to be with myself in the quiet.
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What I found out about myself was I am not someone who doesn't believe in marriage.
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I log out of Twitter on my computer so I have to log in and then I log back out.
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Testosterone makes you completely out of control, but that's okay.
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I'm the queen of outside speakers.
Jen Kirkman
I'd also talk about the period and of course all the different gender things that people might feel that they are. I'd be a terrible teacher because of what I don't know about that.
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My mother was like, What did they teach you?, and I had never talked about that [sex-ed] so I freaked out.
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For me, making any kind of resolution or saying, I'm doing this! can only cause pain, to get very deep.
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