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You teach someone about fallopian tubes in grade school, and you revisit it again in seventh grade for a better understanding of that stuff. I think it's never-ending. I don't know why it isn't all the time.
Jen Kirkman
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Jen Kirkman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: August 28
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Bay State
Never
Grades
Time
Ending
Think
Teach
Thinking
Understanding
Stuff
Revisit
Someone
Seventh
School
Tubes
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Grade
More quotes by Jen Kirkman
I'll take anyone I can get that will pay money to see me. And if there's more of me in the world, people who think they're good people and comedians who have a good message or whatever, then that's great. If there's some kind of balance there that's good.
Jen Kirkman
I'm tired of explaining to Hollywood that people would laugh at me, because I go around America making them laugh every week. Nobody would be offended, nobody would think my leather pants are too controversial.
Jen Kirkman
A lot of times that I'm single is not for a lack of anyone being interested it's me.
Jen Kirkman
Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch.
Jen Kirkman
Admittedly, the masturbation story is just a Hey, this is one of my best-of's, I'll throw it in the special. But the grandmother stuff, really, I feel like is part of the theme and part of the best way to end the story that I'm telling with the special.
Jen Kirkman
There's something grand and revolutionary still about [women] traveling alone. There are some parts of the world where you can't.
Jen Kirkman
I just remember a creepy sex-ed teacher putting a banana on a condom and then saying, It goes in the girl if she gets all juicy. We didn't even believe it. We were like, Well, that's weird.
Jen Kirkman
It [sex-ed] was such a slow rollout for me. I just didn't know what the hell was happening.
Jen Kirkman
I put my filter on, though, and I only see things people I follow [on Twitter] write now. So, I don't even know anymore [ trolls].
Jen Kirkman
It's like, Women can't handle things because they're always sad. That's estrogen. Men brag about testosterone, which makes them completely out of control too. On the other end of things, it's like, Oh it was just testosterone. He got in a bar fight. Why is that better than crying at work?
Jen Kirkman
My birthday is in August - right before September, so I have that back to school feeling ingrained in me so that time of year is when I usually do personal goals or resolutions.
Jen Kirkman
I'm really ambitious about is being a really good comic and doing it for the rest of my life and getting really big. Not really famous because I want fame or attention, just a little freedom. So, that's where I'm ambitious.
Jen Kirkman
I'm not like Woody Allen like, Oh my god what's going to happen? Ooh Ooh Oohhh. I'm just high-strung. So I do need to do a lot of stuff.
Jen Kirkman
I realized that even I have weird intimacy issues with humans - like, I need my friendships to get deeper, I need to be locked in, I need to remember people's names. I know this sounds really stupid, but I just need to be more present in my life.
Jen Kirkman
You never know anymore if you'll see something you don't want to see, if you're jealous of something, if you're going through a breakup and you see something, so I just don't even look at those things any more [ in Instagram].
Jen Kirkman
Testosterone makes you completely out of control, but that's okay.
Jen Kirkman
I don't run around feeling infused with positivity, but I'll have to be taking my last breath before I'll admit I'm dying. So I'm either optimistic or in denial.
Jen Kirkman
I just try to live a moderate life of always checking and trying to be the best person I can be and I'm in therapy and am always working on something.
Jen Kirkman
There have been many times in my life where I got opportunities that I never thought would be the things that I needed, so I'm always saying, I want to do this but whatever the universe thinks is right, I'm open. Because otherwise it causes me so much pain if I don't get what I want. It's my least favorite thing.
Jen Kirkman
[Twitter] certainly doesn't hurt me. I'm not in any pain over any of the things I see. I'm just more disappointed.
Jen Kirkman