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God, there's teaching biology and teaching sexuality, and it's two separate things. They mix it and make it more of a morality thing where it's like, A man and woman have a baby.

Jen Kirkman

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Jen Kirkman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: August 28
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Bay State
Make
Sexuality
Things
Separate
Men
Morality
Like
Teaching
Baby
Woman
Two
Thing
Biology

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For me, making any kind of resolution or saying, I'm doing this! can only cause pain, to get very deep.
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I'm the queen of outside speakers.
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I don't have anything to do all year. I'm not on tour until September.
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I'd also talk about the period and of course all the different gender things that people might feel that they are. I'd be a terrible teacher because of what I don't know about that.
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I actually really do meditation and then I spend my morning reading.
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You teach someone about fallopian tubes in grade school, and you revisit it again in seventh grade for a better understanding of that stuff. I think it's never-ending. I don't know why it isn't all the time.
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I realized I need a certain kind of chemistry and a certain kind of look to be into someone, and like 1 percent of the population has it.
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My mother was like, What did they teach you?, and I had never talked about that [sex-ed] so I freaked out.
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I always try to be open to whatever the universe wants from me.
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I log out of Twitter on my computer so I have to log in and then I log back out.
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What I found out about myself was I am not someone who doesn't believe in marriage.
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We've seen a kind of Donald Trump supporter on steroids, like the hate-crime people. Those people, I don't want to see, like anyone violent or carrying a gun or anything like that. But I won't know if they disagree with me unless they decide to heckle.
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I just remember a creepy sex-ed teacher putting a banana on a condom and then saying, It goes in the girl if she gets all juicy. We didn't even believe it. We were like, Well, that's weird.
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I stay on [Twitter] because I deserve to.
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I'm wired to be neurotic and loud and high-strung.
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They asked us to draw pictures of what we thought men and women look like naked and so I was like, Get away, I'm doing my weird homework, drawing a naked man and woman. And I can't even draw. That's all I remember. I have no memory.
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Admittedly, the masturbation story is just a Hey, this is one of my best-of's, I'll throw it in the special. But the grandmother stuff, really, I feel like is part of the theme and part of the best way to end the story that I'm telling with the special.
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Any expectation is what pain is.
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My rule is if one person says it, a thousand people want to say it. That goes for compliments too. I try to balance it out in my head.
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I used to make albums because I wasn't touring, and so I thought, This is the best way for people to find out about me.
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