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They asked us to draw pictures of what we thought men and women look like naked and so I was like, Get away, I'm doing my weird homework, drawing a naked man and woman. And I can't even draw. That's all I remember. I have no memory.
Jen Kirkman
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Jen Kirkman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: August 28
Actor
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Stand-Up Comedian
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Voice Actor
Bay State
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More quotes by Jen Kirkman
I mean, I can't say that I've had many deep thoughts because I traveled alone, but it's good to be with myself in the quiet.
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Any expectation is what pain is.
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I'm wired to be neurotic and loud and high-strung.
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God, there's teaching biology and teaching sexuality, and it's two separate things. They mix it and make it more of a morality thing where it's like, A man and woman have a baby.
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Admittedly, the masturbation story is just a Hey, this is one of my best-of's, I'll throw it in the special. But the grandmother stuff, really, I feel like is part of the theme and part of the best way to end the story that I'm telling with the special.
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[The first] week [of the year] is great because my special is coming out but it's also my least favorite week because everyone else is on hyperdrive. They're like, Let's do it! We're doing our goals! Everyone is bothering me and there's so much hyper-intensity going on and I'm like, It's winter, you guys. It's hibernating time.
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Sometimes I look [ on trolls on Twitter], but even one ignorant comment can make me go, Oh god.
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There's something grand and revolutionary still about [women] traveling alone. There are some parts of the world where you can't.
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Its almost Thanksgiving! A day when you get to hear your extended family use racial slurs for groups are not taking away their jobs.
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A lot of times that I'm single is not for a lack of anyone being interested it's me.
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I am never home, and it's hard to keep up with things that are good for you to have in life like relationships, whether they be romantic or friendship. I have to work twice as hard to make sure I don't just check out. That's what I mean by vulnerability.
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We've seen a kind of Donald Trump supporter on steroids, like the hate-crime people. Those people, I don't want to see, like anyone violent or carrying a gun or anything like that. But I won't know if they disagree with me unless they decide to heckle.
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I just remember a creepy sex-ed teacher putting a banana on a condom and then saying, It goes in the girl if she gets all juicy. We didn't even believe it. We were like, Well, that's weird.
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I finally understand that it’s okay to be a little afraid of things but that obsessing over them does not mean you have any more control over what you fear.
Jen Kirkman
It [sex-ed] was such a slow rollout for me. I just didn't know what the hell was happening.
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I have no choice sometimes, but there's something about being alone. When I'm alone I might not speak for 24 hours, but you're totally seeing things. It's a pretty cool experience.
Jen Kirkman
I'll take anyone I can get that will pay money to see me. And if there's more of me in the world, people who think they're good people and comedians who have a good message or whatever, then that's great. If there's some kind of balance there that's good.
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I stay on [Twitter] because I deserve to.
Jen Kirkman
I'm the queen of outside speakers.
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I thought that's what happened to women: You live alone when you're old.
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