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I'm not like Woody Allen like, Oh my god what's going to happen? Ooh Ooh Oohhh. I'm just high-strung. So I do need to do a lot of stuff.
Jen Kirkman
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Jen Kirkman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: August 28
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Bay State
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Needs
Strung
Going
Allen
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Woody
Happen
High
Stuff
Happens
More quotes by Jen Kirkman
I don't understand why every single person in Congress isn't standing up and going, He [Donald Trump] is in bed with Russia. And then they could just lock their arms and not let him in.
Jen Kirkman
Testosterone makes you completely out of control, but that's okay.
Jen Kirkman
I am never home, and it's hard to keep up with things that are good for you to have in life like relationships, whether they be romantic or friendship. I have to work twice as hard to make sure I don't just check out. That's what I mean by vulnerability.
Jen Kirkman
A lot of times that I'm single is not for a lack of anyone being interested it's me.
Jen Kirkman
I'll take anyone I can get that will pay money to see me. And if there's more of me in the world, people who think they're good people and comedians who have a good message or whatever, then that's great. If there's some kind of balance there that's good.
Jen Kirkman
There have been many times in my life where I got opportunities that I never thought would be the things that I needed, so I'm always saying, I want to do this but whatever the universe thinks is right, I'm open. Because otherwise it causes me so much pain if I don't get what I want. It's my least favorite thing.
Jen Kirkman
I don't like news channels so I have six websites that I check and I get the daily update.
Jen Kirkman
My birthday is in August - right before September, so I have that back to school feeling ingrained in me so that time of year is when I usually do personal goals or resolutions.
Jen Kirkman
It's much easier to make jokes about not having kids.
Jen Kirkman
I wonder if that's the difference between fathers and mothers. I'm friends with people who have kids that are like 5 and under, and they're still in that intense mother-bonding phase. It might just be that. Because the dads haven't changed.
Jen Kirkman
If, for some reason, everyone knew who I was without me having to have my own TV show, that's what I would do. That way, I could do less shows a year.
Jen Kirkman
My rule is if one person says it, a thousand people want to say it. That goes for compliments too. I try to balance it out in my head.
Jen Kirkman
I'm wired to be neurotic and loud and high-strung.
Jen Kirkman
I'm really ambitious about is being a really good comic and doing it for the rest of my life and getting really big. Not really famous because I want fame or attention, just a little freedom. So, that's where I'm ambitious.
Jen Kirkman
You teach someone about fallopian tubes in grade school, and you revisit it again in seventh grade for a better understanding of that stuff. I think it's never-ending. I don't know why it isn't all the time.
Jen Kirkman
I used to make albums because I wasn't touring, and so I thought, This is the best way for people to find out about me.
Jen Kirkman
Whatever my life looks like, I want it to be real and big and full. I want when, if I get hit by a car, I want to know that I have deep and real friendships, people to visit me in the hospital.
Jen Kirkman
I thought that's what happened to women: You live alone when you're old.
Jen Kirkman
Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch.
Jen Kirkman
I'm the queen of outside speakers.
Jen Kirkman