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I'm wired to be neurotic and loud and high-strung.

Jen Kirkman

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Jen Kirkman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: August 28
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Bay State
Strung
Wired
Neurotic
Loud
High

More quotes by Jen Kirkman

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God, there's teaching biology and teaching sexuality, and it's two separate things. They mix it and make it more of a morality thing where it's like, A man and woman have a baby.
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I don't understand why every single person in Congress isn't standing up and going, He [Donald Trump] is in bed with Russia. And then they could just lock their arms and not let him in.
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I don't run around feeling infused with positivity, but I'll have to be taking my last breath before I'll admit I'm dying. So I'm either optimistic or in denial.
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For me, making any kind of resolution or saying, I'm doing this! can only cause pain, to get very deep.
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It's much easier to make jokes about not having kids.
Jen Kirkman
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My mother was like, What did they teach you?, and I had never talked about that [sex-ed] so I freaked out.
Jen Kirkman
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I don't like news channels so I have six websites that I check and I get the daily update.
Jen Kirkman
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I'd also talk about the period and of course all the different gender things that people might feel that they are. I'd be a terrible teacher because of what I don't know about that.
Jen Kirkman
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Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch.
Jen Kirkman
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My joke is a picture of David Bowie on his balcony in the '70s in a suit in Paris, and unless that's you, I'm not interested. There are very few aesthetic types that I have, and people who look like that are not always necessarily good for me.
Jen Kirkman
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I don't have anything to do all year. I'm not on tour until September.
Jen Kirkman
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Any expectation is what pain is.
Jen Kirkman
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I'm tired of explaining to Hollywood that people would laugh at me, because I go around America making them laugh every week. Nobody would be offended, nobody would think my leather pants are too controversial.
Jen Kirkman
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I just remember a creepy sex-ed teacher putting a banana on a condom and then saying, It goes in the girl if she gets all juicy. We didn't even believe it. We were like, Well, that's weird.
Jen Kirkman
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I used to make albums because I wasn't touring, and so I thought, This is the best way for people to find out about me.
Jen Kirkman
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If, for some reason, everyone knew who I was without me having to have my own TV show, that's what I would do. That way, I could do less shows a year.
Jen Kirkman
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It's like, Women can't handle things because they're always sad. That's estrogen. Men brag about testosterone, which makes them completely out of control too. On the other end of things, it's like, Oh it was just testosterone. He got in a bar fight. Why is that better than crying at work?
Jen Kirkman
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I mean, I can't say that I've had many deep thoughts because I traveled alone, but it's good to be with myself in the quiet.
Jen Kirkman
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I thought that's what happened to women: You live alone when you're old.
Jen Kirkman
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What I found out about myself was I am not someone who doesn't believe in marriage.
Jen Kirkman