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I log out of Twitter on my computer so I have to log in and then I log back out.

Jen Kirkman

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Jen Kirkman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: August 28
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Bay State
Twitter
Computer
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More quotes by Jen Kirkman

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I actually really do meditation and then I spend my morning reading.
Jen Kirkman
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We've seen a kind of Donald Trump supporter on steroids, like the hate-crime people. Those people, I don't want to see, like anyone violent or carrying a gun or anything like that. But I won't know if they disagree with me unless they decide to heckle.
Jen Kirkman
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I finally understand that it’s okay to be a little afraid of things but that obsessing over them does not mean you have any more control over what you fear.
Jen Kirkman
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They asked us to draw pictures of what we thought men and women look like naked and so I was like, Get away, I'm doing my weird homework, drawing a naked man and woman. And I can't even draw. That's all I remember. I have no memory.
Jen Kirkman
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I'm tired of explaining to Hollywood that people would laugh at me, because I go around America making them laugh every week. Nobody would be offended, nobody would think my leather pants are too controversial.
Jen Kirkman
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For me, making any kind of resolution or saying, I'm doing this! can only cause pain, to get very deep.
Jen Kirkman
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Admittedly, the masturbation story is just a Hey, this is one of my best-of's, I'll throw it in the special. But the grandmother stuff, really, I feel like is part of the theme and part of the best way to end the story that I'm telling with the special.
Jen Kirkman
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There have been many times in my life where I got opportunities that I never thought would be the things that I needed, so I'm always saying, I want to do this but whatever the universe thinks is right, I'm open. Because otherwise it causes me so much pain if I don't get what I want. It's my least favorite thing.
Jen Kirkman
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Testosterone makes you completely out of control, but that's okay.
Jen Kirkman
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I am never home, and it's hard to keep up with things that are good for you to have in life like relationships, whether they be romantic or friendship. I have to work twice as hard to make sure I don't just check out. That's what I mean by vulnerability.
Jen Kirkman
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I realized I need a certain kind of chemistry and a certain kind of look to be into someone, and like 1 percent of the population has it.
Jen Kirkman
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I have a new rule where I only follow fashion people on Instagram.
Jen Kirkman
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I always try to be open to whatever the universe wants from me.
Jen Kirkman
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I don't like news channels so I have six websites that I check and I get the daily update.
Jen Kirkman
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I stay on [Twitter] because I deserve to.
Jen Kirkman
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I wonder if that's the difference between fathers and mothers. I'm friends with people who have kids that are like 5 and under, and they're still in that intense mother-bonding phase. It might just be that. Because the dads haven't changed.
Jen Kirkman
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I used to make albums because I wasn't touring, and so I thought, This is the best way for people to find out about me.
Jen Kirkman
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I don't know. Maybe [sex-ed] is my new calling?
Jen Kirkman
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I'm the queen of outside speakers.
Jen Kirkman
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[The first] week [of the year] is great because my special is coming out but it's also my least favorite week because everyone else is on hyperdrive. They're like, Let's do it! We're doing our goals! Everyone is bothering me and there's so much hyper-intensity going on and I'm like, It's winter, you guys. It's hibernating time.
Jen Kirkman