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I always try to be open to whatever the universe wants from me.
Jen Kirkman
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Jen Kirkman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: August 28
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Bay State
Wants
Open
Whatever
Universe
Trying
Always
More quotes by Jen Kirkman
I'm the queen of outside speakers.
Jen Kirkman
I'll take anyone I can get that will pay money to see me. And if there's more of me in the world, people who think they're good people and comedians who have a good message or whatever, then that's great. If there's some kind of balance there that's good.
Jen Kirkman
Whatever my life looks like, I want it to be real and big and full. I want when, if I get hit by a car, I want to know that I have deep and real friendships, people to visit me in the hospital.
Jen Kirkman
[Twitter] certainly doesn't hurt me. I'm not in any pain over any of the things I see. I'm just more disappointed.
Jen Kirkman
Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch.
Jen Kirkman
I have a new rule where I only follow fashion people on Instagram.
Jen Kirkman
I used to make albums because I wasn't touring, and so I thought, This is the best way for people to find out about me.
Jen Kirkman
I think that, for me, my favorite thing to do is perform standup onstage. Everything else I do is for the exposure to do more stand-up onstage, and for the money, and for the health insurance.
Jen Kirkman
If, for some reason, everyone knew who I was without me having to have my own TV show, that's what I would do. That way, I could do less shows a year.
Jen Kirkman
I finally understand that it’s okay to be a little afraid of things but that obsessing over them does not mean you have any more control over what you fear.
Jen Kirkman
I don't run around feeling infused with positivity, but I'll have to be taking my last breath before I'll admit I'm dying. So I'm either optimistic or in denial.
Jen Kirkman
Testosterone makes you completely out of control, but that's okay.
Jen Kirkman
I wonder if that's the difference between fathers and mothers. I'm friends with people who have kids that are like 5 and under, and they're still in that intense mother-bonding phase. It might just be that. Because the dads haven't changed.
Jen Kirkman
My mother was like, What did they teach you?, and I had never talked about that [sex-ed] so I freaked out.
Jen Kirkman
I'd also talk about the period and of course all the different gender things that people might feel that they are. I'd be a terrible teacher because of what I don't know about that.
Jen Kirkman
You teach someone about fallopian tubes in grade school, and you revisit it again in seventh grade for a better understanding of that stuff. I think it's never-ending. I don't know why it isn't all the time.
Jen Kirkman
When you travel, people might not have the same ideas about what is interesting. I'm not really good at compromising when I travel.
Jen Kirkman
I just try to live a moderate life of always checking and trying to be the best person I can be and I'm in therapy and am always working on something.
Jen Kirkman
For me, making any kind of resolution or saying, I'm doing this! can only cause pain, to get very deep.
Jen Kirkman
They asked us to draw pictures of what we thought men and women look like naked and so I was like, Get away, I'm doing my weird homework, drawing a naked man and woman. And I can't even draw. That's all I remember. I have no memory.
Jen Kirkman