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I don't run around feeling infused with positivity, but I'll have to be taking my last breath before I'll admit I'm dying. So I'm either optimistic or in denial.

Jen Kirkman

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Jen Kirkman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: August 28
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Bay State
Running
Breath
Feelings
Breaths
Around
Dying
Taking
Infused
Either
Positivity
Feeling
Denial
Lasts
Optimistic
Last
Admit

More quotes by Jen Kirkman

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I don't know. Maybe [sex-ed] is my new calling?
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I really will never understand pushing back on comedians who are like, I'm like a politician campaigning and shaking hands with these people. They're going to be okay.
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We've seen a kind of Donald Trump supporter on steroids, like the hate-crime people. Those people, I don't want to see, like anyone violent or carrying a gun or anything like that. But I won't know if they disagree with me unless they decide to heckle.
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You teach someone about fallopian tubes in grade school, and you revisit it again in seventh grade for a better understanding of that stuff. I think it's never-ending. I don't know why it isn't all the time.
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Testosterone makes you completely out of control, but that's okay.
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There's something grand and revolutionary still about [women] traveling alone. There are some parts of the world where you can't.
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It's much easier to make jokes about not having kids.
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Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch.
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I actually really do meditation and then I spend my morning reading.
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For me, making any kind of resolution or saying, I'm doing this! can only cause pain, to get very deep.
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I'm wired to be neurotic and loud and high-strung.
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I just try to live a moderate life of always checking and trying to be the best person I can be and I'm in therapy and am always working on something.
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Admittedly, the masturbation story is just a Hey, this is one of my best-of's, I'll throw it in the special. But the grandmother stuff, really, I feel like is part of the theme and part of the best way to end the story that I'm telling with the special.
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I realized I need a certain kind of chemistry and a certain kind of look to be into someone, and like 1 percent of the population has it.
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I always try to be open to whatever the universe wants from me.
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I'm the queen of outside speakers.
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What I found out about myself was I am not someone who doesn't believe in marriage.
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At first, there was a separation of clubs and sketch comedy. Now there's all kinds of comedy, making us one big happy family.
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Any expectation is what pain is.
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My mother was like, What did they teach you?, and I had never talked about that [sex-ed] so I freaked out.
Jen Kirkman