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My birthday is in August - right before September, so I have that back to school feeling ingrained in me so that time of year is when I usually do personal goals or resolutions.

Jen Kirkman

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Jen Kirkman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: August 28
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Bay State
Years
Personal
Ingrained
Time
Feeling
Resolutions
Year
August
Goal
September
Feelings
Resolution
School
Birthday
Back
Goals
Right
Usually

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Whatever my life looks like, I want it to be real and big and full. I want when, if I get hit by a car, I want to know that I have deep and real friendships, people to visit me in the hospital.
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If, for some reason, everyone knew who I was without me having to have my own TV show, that's what I would do. That way, I could do less shows a year.
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My mother was like, What did they teach you?, and I had never talked about that [sex-ed] so I freaked out.
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I log out of Twitter on my computer so I have to log in and then I log back out.
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For me, making any kind of resolution or saying, I'm doing this! can only cause pain, to get very deep.
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I'd also talk about the period and of course all the different gender things that people might feel that they are. I'd be a terrible teacher because of what I don't know about that.
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I don't understand why every single person in Congress isn't standing up and going, He [Donald Trump] is in bed with Russia. And then they could just lock their arms and not let him in.
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My brain does like the idea of hosting a late-night show. My brain does like the idea of maybe having a show about me. So, I often pitch ideas and work on scripts and do that just because I may not be right about how I feel, so why not just do this, and if it happens and I got my own show, well maybe I would really end up falling in love with it.
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God, there's teaching biology and teaching sexuality, and it's two separate things. They mix it and make it more of a morality thing where it's like, A man and woman have a baby.
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I used to make albums because I wasn't touring, and so I thought, This is the best way for people to find out about me.
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My rule is if one person says it, a thousand people want to say it. That goes for compliments too. I try to balance it out in my head.
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I'm tired of explaining to Hollywood that people would laugh at me, because I go around America making them laugh every week. Nobody would be offended, nobody would think my leather pants are too controversial.
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I really will never understand pushing back on comedians who are like, I'm like a politician campaigning and shaking hands with these people. They're going to be okay.
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What I found out about myself was I am not someone who doesn't believe in marriage.
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I am never home, and it's hard to keep up with things that are good for you to have in life like relationships, whether they be romantic or friendship. I have to work twice as hard to make sure I don't just check out. That's what I mean by vulnerability.
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There have been many times in my life where I got opportunities that I never thought would be the things that I needed, so I'm always saying, I want to do this but whatever the universe thinks is right, I'm open. Because otherwise it causes me so much pain if I don't get what I want. It's my least favorite thing.
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They asked us to draw pictures of what we thought men and women look like naked and so I was like, Get away, I'm doing my weird homework, drawing a naked man and woman. And I can't even draw. That's all I remember. I have no memory.
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I finally understand that it’s okay to be a little afraid of things but that obsessing over them does not mean you have any more control over what you fear.
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I'm the queen of outside speakers.
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You teach someone about fallopian tubes in grade school, and you revisit it again in seventh grade for a better understanding of that stuff. I think it's never-ending. I don't know why it isn't all the time.
Jen Kirkman