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I don't understand why every single person in Congress isn't standing up and going, He [Donald Trump] is in bed with Russia. And then they could just lock their arms and not let him in.
Jen Kirkman
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Jen Kirkman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: August 28
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Bay State
Trump
Locks
Understand
Russia
Persons
Bed
Person
Donald
Going
Congress
Every
Standing
Arms
Single
Lock
More quotes by Jen Kirkman
I realized I need a certain kind of chemistry and a certain kind of look to be into someone, and like 1 percent of the population has it.
Jen Kirkman
At first, there was a separation of clubs and sketch comedy. Now there's all kinds of comedy, making us one big happy family.
Jen Kirkman
I don't know. Maybe [sex-ed] is my new calling?
Jen Kirkman
I'm really ambitious about is being a really good comic and doing it for the rest of my life and getting really big. Not really famous because I want fame or attention, just a little freedom. So, that's where I'm ambitious.
Jen Kirkman
Its almost Thanksgiving! A day when you get to hear your extended family use racial slurs for groups are not taking away their jobs.
Jen Kirkman
I have no choice sometimes, but there's something about being alone. When I'm alone I might not speak for 24 hours, but you're totally seeing things. It's a pretty cool experience.
Jen Kirkman
I just try to live a moderate life of always checking and trying to be the best person I can be and I'm in therapy and am always working on something.
Jen Kirkman
If, for some reason, everyone knew who I was without me having to have my own TV show, that's what I would do. That way, I could do less shows a year.
Jen Kirkman
I put my filter on, though, and I only see things people I follow [on Twitter] write now. So, I don't even know anymore [ trolls].
Jen Kirkman
I stay on [Twitter] because I deserve to.
Jen Kirkman
I have a new rule where I only follow fashion people on Instagram.
Jen Kirkman
There's something grand and revolutionary still about [women] traveling alone. There are some parts of the world where you can't.
Jen Kirkman
I actually really do meditation and then I spend my morning reading.
Jen Kirkman
I wonder if that's the difference between fathers and mothers. I'm friends with people who have kids that are like 5 and under, and they're still in that intense mother-bonding phase. It might just be that. Because the dads haven't changed.
Jen Kirkman
It [sex-ed] was such a slow rollout for me. I just didn't know what the hell was happening.
Jen Kirkman
I thought that's what happened to women: You live alone when you're old.
Jen Kirkman
I'm tired of explaining to Hollywood that people would laugh at me, because I go around America making them laugh every week. Nobody would be offended, nobody would think my leather pants are too controversial.
Jen Kirkman
It's like, Women can't handle things because they're always sad. That's estrogen. Men brag about testosterone, which makes them completely out of control too. On the other end of things, it's like, Oh it was just testosterone. He got in a bar fight. Why is that better than crying at work?
Jen Kirkman
Admittedly, the masturbation story is just a Hey, this is one of my best-of's, I'll throw it in the special. But the grandmother stuff, really, I feel like is part of the theme and part of the best way to end the story that I'm telling with the special.
Jen Kirkman
I realized that even I have weird intimacy issues with humans - like, I need my friendships to get deeper, I need to be locked in, I need to remember people's names. I know this sounds really stupid, but I just need to be more present in my life.
Jen Kirkman