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Its almost Thanksgiving! A day when you get to hear your extended family use racial slurs for groups are not taking away their jobs.
Jen Kirkman
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Jen Kirkman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: August 28
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Bay State
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Taking
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Almost
Family
Slurs
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Jobs
Thanksgiving
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Racial
More quotes by Jen Kirkman
[Twitter] certainly doesn't hurt me. I'm not in any pain over any of the things I see. I'm just more disappointed.
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I have no choice sometimes, but there's something about being alone. When I'm alone I might not speak for 24 hours, but you're totally seeing things. It's a pretty cool experience.
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My joke is a picture of David Bowie on his balcony in the '70s in a suit in Paris, and unless that's you, I'm not interested. There are very few aesthetic types that I have, and people who look like that are not always necessarily good for me.
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My curriculum would be the whole year. It would be really slow and it would be about human anatomy. I would teach people about women's bodies so they understand what Planned Parenthood is for.
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I'm the queen of outside speakers.
Jen Kirkman
It [sex-ed] was such a slow rollout for me. I just didn't know what the hell was happening.
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I wonder if that's the difference between fathers and mothers. I'm friends with people who have kids that are like 5 and under, and they're still in that intense mother-bonding phase. It might just be that. Because the dads haven't changed.
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I really will never understand pushing back on comedians who are like, I'm like a politician campaigning and shaking hands with these people. They're going to be okay.
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I always try to be open to whatever the universe wants from me.
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I'm not like Woody Allen like, Oh my god what's going to happen? Ooh Ooh Oohhh. I'm just high-strung. So I do need to do a lot of stuff.
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Admittedly, the masturbation story is just a Hey, this is one of my best-of's, I'll throw it in the special. But the grandmother stuff, really, I feel like is part of the theme and part of the best way to end the story that I'm telling with the special.
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I thought that's what happened to women: You live alone when you're old.
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I'll take anyone I can get that will pay money to see me. And if there's more of me in the world, people who think they're good people and comedians who have a good message or whatever, then that's great. If there's some kind of balance there that's good.
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God, there's teaching biology and teaching sexuality, and it's two separate things. They mix it and make it more of a morality thing where it's like, A man and woman have a baby.
Jen Kirkman
I don't understand why every single person in Congress isn't standing up and going, He [Donald Trump] is in bed with Russia. And then they could just lock their arms and not let him in.
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Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch.
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My mother was like, What did they teach you?, and I had never talked about that [sex-ed] so I freaked out.
Jen Kirkman
I'm wired to be neurotic and loud and high-strung.
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What I found out about myself was I am not someone who doesn't believe in marriage.
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I put my filter on, though, and I only see things people I follow [on Twitter] write now. So, I don't even know anymore [ trolls].
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