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Its almost Thanksgiving! A day when you get to hear your extended family use racial slurs for groups are not taking away their jobs.
Jen Kirkman
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Jen Kirkman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: August 28
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Bay State
Use
Extended
Jobs
Thanksgiving
Away
Racial
Groups
Taking
Hear
Almost
Family
Slurs
More quotes by Jen Kirkman
My mother was like, What did they teach you?, and I had never talked about that [sex-ed] so I freaked out.
Jen Kirkman
My birthday is in August - right before September, so I have that back to school feeling ingrained in me so that time of year is when I usually do personal goals or resolutions.
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It's like, Women can't handle things because they're always sad. That's estrogen. Men brag about testosterone, which makes them completely out of control too. On the other end of things, it's like, Oh it was just testosterone. He got in a bar fight. Why is that better than crying at work?
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What I found out about myself was I am not someone who doesn't believe in marriage.
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I have no choice sometimes, but there's something about being alone. When I'm alone I might not speak for 24 hours, but you're totally seeing things. It's a pretty cool experience.
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I have a new rule where I only follow fashion people on Instagram.
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I don't understand why every single person in Congress isn't standing up and going, He [Donald Trump] is in bed with Russia. And then they could just lock their arms and not let him in.
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My curriculum would be the whole year. It would be really slow and it would be about human anatomy. I would teach people about women's bodies so they understand what Planned Parenthood is for.
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There have been many times in my life where I got opportunities that I never thought would be the things that I needed, so I'm always saying, I want to do this but whatever the universe thinks is right, I'm open. Because otherwise it causes me so much pain if I don't get what I want. It's my least favorite thing.
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I wonder if that's the difference between fathers and mothers. I'm friends with people who have kids that are like 5 and under, and they're still in that intense mother-bonding phase. It might just be that. Because the dads haven't changed.
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Whatever my life looks like, I want it to be real and big and full. I want when, if I get hit by a car, I want to know that I have deep and real friendships, people to visit me in the hospital.
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I put my filter on, though, and I only see things people I follow [on Twitter] write now. So, I don't even know anymore [ trolls].
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I really will never understand pushing back on comedians who are like, I'm like a politician campaigning and shaking hands with these people. They're going to be okay.
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I think that, for me, my favorite thing to do is perform standup onstage. Everything else I do is for the exposure to do more stand-up onstage, and for the money, and for the health insurance.
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[Twitter] certainly doesn't hurt me. I'm not in any pain over any of the things I see. I'm just more disappointed.
Jen Kirkman
Any expectation is what pain is.
Jen Kirkman
I don't like news channels so I have six websites that I check and I get the daily update.
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My brain does like the idea of hosting a late-night show. My brain does like the idea of maybe having a show about me. So, I often pitch ideas and work on scripts and do that just because I may not be right about how I feel, so why not just do this, and if it happens and I got my own show, well maybe I would really end up falling in love with it.
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I realized that even I have weird intimacy issues with humans - like, I need my friendships to get deeper, I need to be locked in, I need to remember people's names. I know this sounds really stupid, but I just need to be more present in my life.
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You teach someone about fallopian tubes in grade school, and you revisit it again in seventh grade for a better understanding of that stuff. I think it's never-ending. I don't know why it isn't all the time.
Jen Kirkman