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I'm tired of explaining to Hollywood that people would laugh at me, because I go around America making them laugh every week. Nobody would be offended, nobody would think my leather pants are too controversial.

Jen Kirkman

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Jen Kirkman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: August 28
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Bay State
Every
Tired
Would
Hollywood
Think
Laughing
Controversial
Thinking
Nobody
Leather
People
Week
Explaining
Making
Offended
Around
Pants
America
Laugh

More quotes by Jen Kirkman

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I'm wired to be neurotic and loud and high-strung.
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Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch.
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I don't like news channels so I have six websites that I check and I get the daily update.
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I have a new rule where I only follow fashion people on Instagram.
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I thought that's what happened to women: You live alone when you're old.
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I mean, I can't say that I've had many deep thoughts because I traveled alone, but it's good to be with myself in the quiet.
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Its almost Thanksgiving! A day when you get to hear your extended family use racial slurs for groups are not taking away their jobs.
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Admittedly, the masturbation story is just a Hey, this is one of my best-of's, I'll throw it in the special. But the grandmother stuff, really, I feel like is part of the theme and part of the best way to end the story that I'm telling with the special.
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I log out of Twitter on my computer so I have to log in and then I log back out.
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I finally understand that it’s okay to be a little afraid of things but that obsessing over them does not mean you have any more control over what you fear.
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It's much easier to make jokes about not having kids.
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I really will never understand pushing back on comedians who are like, I'm like a politician campaigning and shaking hands with these people. They're going to be okay.
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I put my filter on, though, and I only see things people I follow [on Twitter] write now. So, I don't even know anymore [ trolls].
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I don't know. Maybe [sex-ed] is my new calling?
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My brain does like the idea of hosting a late-night show. My brain does like the idea of maybe having a show about me. So, I often pitch ideas and work on scripts and do that just because I may not be right about how I feel, so why not just do this, and if it happens and I got my own show, well maybe I would really end up falling in love with it.
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Testosterone makes you completely out of control, but that's okay.
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My curriculum would be the whole year. It would be really slow and it would be about human anatomy. I would teach people about women's bodies so they understand what Planned Parenthood is for.
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My rule is if one person says it, a thousand people want to say it. That goes for compliments too. I try to balance it out in my head.
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[The first] week [of the year] is great because my special is coming out but it's also my least favorite week because everyone else is on hyperdrive. They're like, Let's do it! We're doing our goals! Everyone is bothering me and there's so much hyper-intensity going on and I'm like, It's winter, you guys. It's hibernating time.
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I'd also talk about the period and of course all the different gender things that people might feel that they are. I'd be a terrible teacher because of what I don't know about that.
Jen Kirkman