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I'm tired of explaining to Hollywood that people would laugh at me, because I go around America making them laugh every week. Nobody would be offended, nobody would think my leather pants are too controversial.
Jen Kirkman
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Jen Kirkman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: August 28
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Bay State
Around
Pants
America
Laugh
Every
Tired
Would
Hollywood
Think
Laughing
Controversial
Thinking
Nobody
Leather
People
Week
Explaining
Making
Offended
More quotes by Jen Kirkman
I have no choice sometimes, but there's something about being alone. When I'm alone I might not speak for 24 hours, but you're totally seeing things. It's a pretty cool experience.
Jen Kirkman
Testosterone makes you completely out of control, but that's okay.
Jen Kirkman
[The first] week [of the year] is great because my special is coming out but it's also my least favorite week because everyone else is on hyperdrive. They're like, Let's do it! We're doing our goals! Everyone is bothering me and there's so much hyper-intensity going on and I'm like, It's winter, you guys. It's hibernating time.
Jen Kirkman
It [sex-ed] was such a slow rollout for me. I just didn't know what the hell was happening.
Jen Kirkman
I don't understand why every single person in Congress isn't standing up and going, He [Donald Trump] is in bed with Russia. And then they could just lock their arms and not let him in.
Jen Kirkman
I have a new rule where I only follow fashion people on Instagram.
Jen Kirkman
When you travel, people might not have the same ideas about what is interesting. I'm not really good at compromising when I travel.
Jen Kirkman
It's like, Women can't handle things because they're always sad. That's estrogen. Men brag about testosterone, which makes them completely out of control too. On the other end of things, it's like, Oh it was just testosterone. He got in a bar fight. Why is that better than crying at work?
Jen Kirkman
I'd also talk about the period and of course all the different gender things that people might feel that they are. I'd be a terrible teacher because of what I don't know about that.
Jen Kirkman
Whatever my life looks like, I want it to be real and big and full. I want when, if I get hit by a car, I want to know that I have deep and real friendships, people to visit me in the hospital.
Jen Kirkman
My birthday is in August - right before September, so I have that back to school feeling ingrained in me so that time of year is when I usually do personal goals or resolutions.
Jen Kirkman
I think that, for me, my favorite thing to do is perform standup onstage. Everything else I do is for the exposure to do more stand-up onstage, and for the money, and for the health insurance.
Jen Kirkman
What I found out about myself was I am not someone who doesn't believe in marriage.
Jen Kirkman
I don't run around feeling infused with positivity, but I'll have to be taking my last breath before I'll admit I'm dying. So I'm either optimistic or in denial.
Jen Kirkman
I'm really ambitious about is being a really good comic and doing it for the rest of my life and getting really big. Not really famous because I want fame or attention, just a little freedom. So, that's where I'm ambitious.
Jen Kirkman
My mother was like, What did they teach you?, and I had never talked about that [sex-ed] so I freaked out.
Jen Kirkman
I log out of Twitter on my computer so I have to log in and then I log back out.
Jen Kirkman
I realized I need a certain kind of chemistry and a certain kind of look to be into someone, and like 1 percent of the population has it.
Jen Kirkman
There's something grand and revolutionary still about [women] traveling alone. There are some parts of the world where you can't.
Jen Kirkman
My rule is if one person says it, a thousand people want to say it. That goes for compliments too. I try to balance it out in my head.
Jen Kirkman
