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If, for some reason, everyone knew who I was without me having to have my own TV show, that's what I would do. That way, I could do less shows a year.

Jen Kirkman

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Jen Kirkman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: August 28
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Bay State
Without
Years
Knew
Way
Year
Would
Less
Show
Everyone
Shows
Reason

More quotes by Jen Kirkman

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When you travel, people might not have the same ideas about what is interesting. I'm not really good at compromising when I travel.
Jen Kirkman
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I realized that even I have weird intimacy issues with humans - like, I need my friendships to get deeper, I need to be locked in, I need to remember people's names. I know this sounds really stupid, but I just need to be more present in my life.
Jen Kirkman
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It [sex-ed] was such a slow rollout for me. I just didn't know what the hell was happening.
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We've seen a kind of Donald Trump supporter on steroids, like the hate-crime people. Those people, I don't want to see, like anyone violent or carrying a gun or anything like that. But I won't know if they disagree with me unless they decide to heckle.
Jen Kirkman
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[The first] week [of the year] is great because my special is coming out but it's also my least favorite week because everyone else is on hyperdrive. They're like, Let's do it! We're doing our goals! Everyone is bothering me and there's so much hyper-intensity going on and I'm like, It's winter, you guys. It's hibernating time.
Jen Kirkman
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I'm wired to be neurotic and loud and high-strung.
Jen Kirkman
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I thought that's what happened to women: You live alone when you're old.
Jen Kirkman
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I stay on [Twitter] because I deserve to.
Jen Kirkman
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Admittedly, the masturbation story is just a Hey, this is one of my best-of's, I'll throw it in the special. But the grandmother stuff, really, I feel like is part of the theme and part of the best way to end the story that I'm telling with the special.
Jen Kirkman
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I mean, I can't say that I've had many deep thoughts because I traveled alone, but it's good to be with myself in the quiet.
Jen Kirkman
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I am never home, and it's hard to keep up with things that are good for you to have in life like relationships, whether they be romantic or friendship. I have to work twice as hard to make sure I don't just check out. That's what I mean by vulnerability.
Jen Kirkman
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My joke is a picture of David Bowie on his balcony in the '70s in a suit in Paris, and unless that's you, I'm not interested. There are very few aesthetic types that I have, and people who look like that are not always necessarily good for me.
Jen Kirkman
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God, there's teaching biology and teaching sexuality, and it's two separate things. They mix it and make it more of a morality thing where it's like, A man and woman have a baby.
Jen Kirkman
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There have been many times in my life where I got opportunities that I never thought would be the things that I needed, so I'm always saying, I want to do this but whatever the universe thinks is right, I'm open. Because otherwise it causes me so much pain if I don't get what I want. It's my least favorite thing.
Jen Kirkman
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My mother was like, What did they teach you?, and I had never talked about that [sex-ed] so I freaked out.
Jen Kirkman
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Testosterone makes you completely out of control, but that's okay.
Jen Kirkman
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I used to make albums because I wasn't touring, and so I thought, This is the best way for people to find out about me.
Jen Kirkman
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It's like, Women can't handle things because they're always sad. That's estrogen. Men brag about testosterone, which makes them completely out of control too. On the other end of things, it's like, Oh it was just testosterone. He got in a bar fight. Why is that better than crying at work?
Jen Kirkman
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Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch.
Jen Kirkman
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I'd also talk about the period and of course all the different gender things that people might feel that they are. I'd be a terrible teacher because of what I don't know about that.
Jen Kirkman