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I think that, for me, my favorite thing to do is perform standup onstage. Everything else I do is for the exposure to do more stand-up onstage, and for the money, and for the health insurance.

Jen Kirkman

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Jen Kirkman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: August 28
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Bay State
Thing
Insurance
Think
Perform
Thinking
Favorite
Health
Stand
Money
Else
Onstage
Everything
Exposure

More quotes by Jen Kirkman

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You teach someone about fallopian tubes in grade school, and you revisit it again in seventh grade for a better understanding of that stuff. I think it's never-ending. I don't know why it isn't all the time.
Jen Kirkman
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I realized that even I have weird intimacy issues with humans - like, I need my friendships to get deeper, I need to be locked in, I need to remember people's names. I know this sounds really stupid, but I just need to be more present in my life.
Jen Kirkman
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[The first] week [of the year] is great because my special is coming out but it's also my least favorite week because everyone else is on hyperdrive. They're like, Let's do it! We're doing our goals! Everyone is bothering me and there's so much hyper-intensity going on and I'm like, It's winter, you guys. It's hibernating time.
Jen Kirkman
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My curriculum would be the whole year. It would be really slow and it would be about human anatomy. I would teach people about women's bodies so they understand what Planned Parenthood is for.
Jen Kirkman
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My brain does like the idea of hosting a late-night show. My brain does like the idea of maybe having a show about me. So, I often pitch ideas and work on scripts and do that just because I may not be right about how I feel, so why not just do this, and if it happens and I got my own show, well maybe I would really end up falling in love with it.
Jen Kirkman
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It's like, Women can't handle things because they're always sad. That's estrogen. Men brag about testosterone, which makes them completely out of control too. On the other end of things, it's like, Oh it was just testosterone. He got in a bar fight. Why is that better than crying at work?
Jen Kirkman
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I'd also talk about the period and of course all the different gender things that people might feel that they are. I'd be a terrible teacher because of what I don't know about that.
Jen Kirkman
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I thought that's what happened to women: You live alone when you're old.
Jen Kirkman
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I actually really do meditation and then I spend my morning reading.
Jen Kirkman
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I realized I need a certain kind of chemistry and a certain kind of look to be into someone, and like 1 percent of the population has it.
Jen Kirkman
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I really will never understand pushing back on comedians who are like, I'm like a politician campaigning and shaking hands with these people. They're going to be okay.
Jen Kirkman
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I log out of Twitter on my computer so I have to log in and then I log back out.
Jen Kirkman
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I have a new rule where I only follow fashion people on Instagram.
Jen Kirkman
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Admittedly, the masturbation story is just a Hey, this is one of my best-of's, I'll throw it in the special. But the grandmother stuff, really, I feel like is part of the theme and part of the best way to end the story that I'm telling with the special.
Jen Kirkman
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There have been many times in my life where I got opportunities that I never thought would be the things that I needed, so I'm always saying, I want to do this but whatever the universe thinks is right, I'm open. Because otherwise it causes me so much pain if I don't get what I want. It's my least favorite thing.
Jen Kirkman
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I finally understand that it’s okay to be a little afraid of things but that obsessing over them does not mean you have any more control over what you fear.
Jen Kirkman
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I wonder if that's the difference between fathers and mothers. I'm friends with people who have kids that are like 5 and under, and they're still in that intense mother-bonding phase. It might just be that. Because the dads haven't changed.
Jen Kirkman
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At first, there was a separation of clubs and sketch comedy. Now there's all kinds of comedy, making us one big happy family.
Jen Kirkman
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I stay on [Twitter] because I deserve to.
Jen Kirkman
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Its almost Thanksgiving! A day when you get to hear your extended family use racial slurs for groups are not taking away their jobs.
Jen Kirkman