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Whatever my life looks like, I want it to be real and big and full. I want when, if I get hit by a car, I want to know that I have deep and real friendships, people to visit me in the hospital.

Jen Kirkman

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Jen Kirkman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: August 28
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Bay State
Bigs
Friendships
Looks
Hospital
Real
Hospitals
Life
Visit
Like
Car
People
Deep
Full
Whatever

More quotes by Jen Kirkman

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My curriculum would be the whole year. It would be really slow and it would be about human anatomy. I would teach people about women's bodies so they understand what Planned Parenthood is for.
Jen Kirkman
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I mean, I can't say that I've had many deep thoughts because I traveled alone, but it's good to be with myself in the quiet.
Jen Kirkman
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I'm the queen of outside speakers.
Jen Kirkman
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Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch.
Jen Kirkman
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Its almost Thanksgiving! A day when you get to hear your extended family use racial slurs for groups are not taking away their jobs.
Jen Kirkman
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I log out of Twitter on my computer so I have to log in and then I log back out.
Jen Kirkman
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Admittedly, the masturbation story is just a Hey, this is one of my best-of's, I'll throw it in the special. But the grandmother stuff, really, I feel like is part of the theme and part of the best way to end the story that I'm telling with the special.
Jen Kirkman
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I put my filter on, though, and I only see things people I follow [on Twitter] write now. So, I don't even know anymore [ trolls].
Jen Kirkman
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There's something grand and revolutionary still about [women] traveling alone. There are some parts of the world where you can't.
Jen Kirkman
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We've seen a kind of Donald Trump supporter on steroids, like the hate-crime people. Those people, I don't want to see, like anyone violent or carrying a gun or anything like that. But I won't know if they disagree with me unless they decide to heckle.
Jen Kirkman
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I just remember a creepy sex-ed teacher putting a banana on a condom and then saying, It goes in the girl if she gets all juicy. We didn't even believe it. We were like, Well, that's weird.
Jen Kirkman
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Any expectation is what pain is.
Jen Kirkman
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I just try to live a moderate life of always checking and trying to be the best person I can be and I'm in therapy and am always working on something.
Jen Kirkman
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They asked us to draw pictures of what we thought men and women look like naked and so I was like, Get away, I'm doing my weird homework, drawing a naked man and woman. And I can't even draw. That's all I remember. I have no memory.
Jen Kirkman
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I don't have anything to do all year. I'm not on tour until September.
Jen Kirkman
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I don't understand why every single person in Congress isn't standing up and going, He [Donald Trump] is in bed with Russia. And then they could just lock their arms and not let him in.
Jen Kirkman
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It [sex-ed] was such a slow rollout for me. I just didn't know what the hell was happening.
Jen Kirkman
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I'm wired to be neurotic and loud and high-strung.
Jen Kirkman
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My brain does like the idea of hosting a late-night show. My brain does like the idea of maybe having a show about me. So, I often pitch ideas and work on scripts and do that just because I may not be right about how I feel, so why not just do this, and if it happens and I got my own show, well maybe I would really end up falling in love with it.
Jen Kirkman
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I don't know. Maybe [sex-ed] is my new calling?
Jen Kirkman