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I really am guilty, of many somethings, all of them lethal and very enjoyable and technically not quite legal.

Jeff Lindsay

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Jeff Lindsay
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: July 14
Novelist
Playwright
Writer
Miami
Florida
Jeffry P. Freundlich
Jeffry P. Lindsay
Legal
Guilty
Quite
Many
Really
Somethings
Lethal
Technically
Enjoyable

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Now I know what it is like to feel like a total idiot.
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It really is better to be lucky than to be good.
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Really now: If you can't get me my newspaper on time, how can you expect me to refrain from killing people?
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Life's only obligation, afterall, was to be interesting.
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And then more quiet, silence so deep it almost drowned out the roar of the night music that pounded away in my secret self.
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IN MY LIFELONG STUDY OF HUMAN BEINGS, I HAVE FOUND that no matter how hard they might try, they have found no way yet to prevent the arrival of Monday morning. And they do try, of course, but Monday always comes, and all the drones have to scuttle back to their dreary workaday lives of meaningless toil and suffering.
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I had killed our careful relationship by driving my tongue through its heart and pushing it off a cliff.
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I am unlovable...I have tried to involve myself in other people, in relationships, and even - in my sillier moments - in love. But it doesn't work. Something in me is broken or missing and sooner or later the other person catches me Acting or one of Those Nights comes along.
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For the first time I could remember, I felt weak, woozy and stupid— like a human-being. Like a very small and helpless human-being.
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Dying makes everyone weaker, subject to painful insight, and not always insight into any kind of special truth - it's just the approaching end that makes people want to believe they are seeing something in the line of a great revelation.
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I know family comes first, but shouldn't that mean after breakfast?
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Could this be the Apocalypse ?
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What to wear? I could think of no guidelines on what we were wearing this season to a party forced on you to celebrate an unwanted engagement that might turn into a violent confrontation with a vengeful maniac. Clearly brown shoes were out, but beyond that nothing really seemed de rigueur.
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A man can take only so much. Even a phony man like me.
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Our universe is ruled by random whim, inhabited by people who laugh at logic.
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For my part, my interest in Paris had faded away completely long ago when I learned that it was in France.
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And here I always thought morality was useless.
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I looked around the store and what I saw was not very encouraging. There were rows and rows of violent toys...aisle after aisle of training devices for recreational slaughter. No wonder our world was such a mean and violent place...if we teach children that killing is fun, can we really be surprised if now and then someone is smart enough to learn?
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I nodded with genuine synthetic sympathy.
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And so as much as I can, I care about her, dear Deborah. It's probably not love, but I would rather she were happy.
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