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And as we should all know by now, anytime you predict failure you have an excellent chance of being right.

Jeff Lindsay

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Jeff Lindsay
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: July 14
Novelist
Playwright
Writer
Miami
Florida
Jeffry P. Freundlich
Jeffry P. Lindsay
Anytime
Predict
Excellent
Failure
Chance
Right

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No big deal. We all have blood in us, the trick is keeping it inside.
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Mutilated corpses with a chance of afternoon showers. I got dressed and went to work.
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I sighed as comforting as it may be to some of us, sarcasm, like youth, is wasted on the young.
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And once again I found myself wondering, as I drifted off to stunned and unbelieving sleep:How do these terrible things always happen to me?
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I am unlovable...I have tried to involve myself in other people, in relationships, and even - in my sillier moments - in love. But it doesn't work. Something in me is broken or missing and sooner or later the other person catches me Acting or one of Those Nights comes along.
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The mind picks some very bad times to take a walk doesn't it?
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This was just no fun. I wanted my brain back.
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Was insanity really easier to accept than unconsciousness?
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But what could I do? Be stupid for a while? I wasn't sure I knew how, even after so many years of careful observation.
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The key to a happy life is to have accomplishments to be proud of and purpose to look forward to, and at the moment I had both. How wonderful it was to be me.
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After a long moment I closed the freezer door. I wanted to lie down and press my cheek against the cool linoleum. Instead I reached out with my little finger and flipped the Barbie's head. It went thack thack against the door. I flipped it again. Thack thack. Whee. I had a new hobby.
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I often find myself in situations where it seems to me like everyone else has read the instruction book
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Anybody can be charming if they don't mind faking it, saying all the stupid, obvious, nauseating things that a conscience keeps most people from saying. Happily, I don't have a conscience. I say them.
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But of course, there's no rest for the wicked, which I certainly am as I said, no rest for the wicked.
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Life's only obligation, afterall, was to be interesting.
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Rectory always sounded to me like a place where you would find a proctologist.
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Or was he saying, Hi! Wanna play? And I did. Of course I did.
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But as I have noticed on more than one occaision, life itself is unfair, and there is no complaint department, so we might as well accept things the way they happen, clean up the mess, and move on.
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In its own way the kiss had been an act of murder.
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What to wear? I could think of no guidelines on what we were wearing this season to a party forced on you to celebrate an unwanted engagement that might turn into a violent confrontation with a vengeful maniac. Clearly brown shoes were out, but beyond that nothing really seemed de rigueur.
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