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I waved to everybody. Some of them even waved back. They knew me, had seen me go by before, always cheerful, a big hello for everybody. He was such a nice man. Very friendly. I can’t believe he did those horrible things . . .

Jeff Lindsay

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Jeff Lindsay
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: July 14
Novelist
Playwright
Writer
Miami
Florida
Jeffry P. Freundlich
Jeffry P. Lindsay
Things
Seen
Men
Everybody
Nice
Waved
Bigs
Hello
Back
Cheerful
Even
Friendly
Believe
Horrible
Always
Knew

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I sighed as comforting as it may be to some of us, sarcasm, like youth, is wasted on the young.
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I'm a very neat monster.
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I rose to my knees, mouth dry and heart pounding, and paused to finger a rip in my beautiful Dacron bowling shirt. I pushed my fingertip through the hole and wiggled it at myself. Hello, Dexter, where are you going? Hello, Mr. Finger. I don't know, but I'm almost there. I hear my friends calling.
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What to wear? I could think of no guidelines on what we were wearing this season to a party forced on you to celebrate an unwanted engagement that might turn into a violent confrontation with a vengeful maniac. Clearly brown shoes were out, but beyond that nothing really seemed de rigueur.
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Really now: If you can't get me my newspaper on time, how can you expect me to refrain from killing people?
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Life teaches us that human thought almost never walks hand in hand with logic, and it is usually counterproductive to raise the point.
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And once again I found myself wondering, as I drifted off to stunned and unbelieving sleep:How do these terrible things always happen to me?
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A man can take only so much. Even a phony man like me.
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And as we should all know by now, anytime you predict failure you have an excellent chance of being right.
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She really did like me, the idiot.
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As I've said, freedom is really an illusion. Anytime we think we have a real choice, it just means we haven't seen the shotgun aimed at our navel.
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What do you want a clock for?” “To find out what time it is,” I said. “I think that’s the usual purpose.
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For my part, my interest in Paris had faded away completely long ago when I learned that it was in France.
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...being torn apart by far too many loyalties that could not possibly live together in the same brain.
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The key to a happy life is to have accomplishments to be proud of and purpose to look forward to, and at the moment I had both. How wonderful it was to be me.
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Perhaps because I'll never be one, humans are interesting to me.
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IN MY LIFELONG STUDY OF HUMAN BEINGS, I HAVE FOUND that no matter how hard they might try, they have found no way yet to prevent the arrival of Monday morning. And they do try, of course, but Monday always comes, and all the drones have to scuttle back to their dreary workaday lives of meaningless toil and suffering.
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I don't know if you have noticed this, but it is quite possible for two human beings to have a conversation in which one or both parties involved has absolutely no idea what they're talking about.
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Now I know what it is like to feel like a total idiot.
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It happens incompetence is rewarded more often than not.
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