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I thought about the nice clothes that I always wore. Well of course I did. I took pride in being the best dressed monster in Dade County.

Jeff Lindsay

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Jeff Lindsay
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: July 14
Novelist
Playwright
Writer
Miami
Florida
Jeffry P. Freundlich
Jeffry P. Lindsay
Best
Monsters
Wells
Pride
Well
Clothes
Always
Took
Courses
County
Course
Wore
Nice
Monster
Thought
Dressed

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Now I know what it is like to feel like a total idiot.
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I don't know if you have noticed this, but it is quite possible for two human beings to have a conversation in which one or both parties involved has absolutely no idea what they're talking about.
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First things first has always been my motto, mostly because it makes absolutely no sense - after all, if first things were second or third, they wouldn't be first things, would they? Still, cliches exist to comfort the feeble minded, not to provide any actual meaning.
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I waved to everybody. Some of them even waved back. They knew me, had seen me go by before, always cheerful, a big hello for everybody. He was such a nice man. Very friendly. I can’t believe he did those horrible things . . .
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I'm a very neat monster.
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It really is better to be lucky than to be good.
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She really did like me, the idiot.
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And then more quiet, silence so deep it almost drowned out the roar of the night music that pounded away in my secret self.
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Of course it was a terrible thing, and the world would be a much better place without someone in it who could do that, but did that mean we had to miss lunch?
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But what could I do? Be stupid for a while? I wasn't sure I knew how, even after so many years of careful observation.
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...being torn apart by far too many loyalties that could not possibly live together in the same brain.
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Perhaps because I'll never be one, humans are interesting to me.
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And as we should all know by now, anytime you predict failure you have an excellent chance of being right.
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I often find myself in situations where it seems to me like everyone else has read the instruction book
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Could this be the Apocalypse ?
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I think people understand things different when they get older. It’s not a question of getting soft, or seeing things in the gray areas instead of black and white. I really believe I’m just understanding things different. Better.
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Money to me had always been merely something the sheep used to show each other how wonderful they were.
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Rectory always sounded to me like a place where you would find a proctologist.
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Killing makes me feel good.
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What to wear? I could think of no guidelines on what we were wearing this season to a party forced on you to celebrate an unwanted engagement that might turn into a violent confrontation with a vengeful maniac. Clearly brown shoes were out, but beyond that nothing really seemed de rigueur.
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