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I thought about the nice clothes that I always wore. Well of course I did. I took pride in being the best dressed monster in Dade County.

Jeff Lindsay

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Jeff Lindsay
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: July 14
Novelist
Playwright
Writer
Miami
Florida
Jeffry P. Freundlich
Jeffry P. Lindsay
Well
Clothes
Always
Took
Courses
County
Course
Wore
Nice
Monster
Thought
Dressed
Best
Monsters
Wells
Pride

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And so as much as I can, I care about her, dear Deborah. It's probably not love, but I would rather she were happy.
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I rose to my knees, mouth dry and heart pounding, and paused to finger a rip in my beautiful Dacron bowling shirt. I pushed my fingertip through the hole and wiggled it at myself. Hello, Dexter, where are you going? Hello, Mr. Finger. I don't know, but I'm almost there. I hear my friends calling.
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Because I am an inhuman monster, I tend to be logical.
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Anybody can be charming if they don't mind faking it, saying all the stupid, obvious, nauseating things that a conscience keeps most people from saying. Happily, I don't have a conscience. I say them.
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She really did like me, the idiot.
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I sighed as comforting as it may be to some of us, sarcasm, like youth, is wasted on the young.
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you can’t use logic on human behavior.
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Me, feeling. What a concept.
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I am unlovable...I have tried to involve myself in other people, in relationships, and even - in my sillier moments - in love. But it doesn't work. Something in me is broken or missing and sooner or later the other person catches me Acting or one of Those Nights comes along.
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Of course it was a terrible thing, and the world would be a much better place without someone in it who could do that, but did that mean we had to miss lunch?
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And once again I found myself wondering, as I drifted off to stunned and unbelieving sleep:How do these terrible things always happen to me?
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I looked around the store and what I saw was not very encouraging. There were rows and rows of violent toys...aisle after aisle of training devices for recreational slaughter. No wonder our world was such a mean and violent place...if we teach children that killing is fun, can we really be surprised if now and then someone is smart enough to learn?
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...she opened the door very slowly and carefully, half hiding behind it, as if badly frightened of what might be waiting for her on the other side. And considering that it was me waiting, this showed rare common sense.
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I really am guilty, of many somethings, all of them lethal and very enjoyable and technically not quite legal.
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I'm a very neat monster.
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When faced with people who have very limited conversational skills and no apparent desire to cultivate any it's always easier to simply go along.
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Perhaps because I'll never be one, humans are interesting to me.
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I nodded with genuine synthetic sympathy.
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I'm quite sure more people fake an awful lot of everyday human contact. I just fake all of it. --Dexter
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Life teaches us that human thought almost never walks hand in hand with logic, and it is usually counterproductive to raise the point.
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