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I thought about the nice clothes that I always wore. Well of course I did. I took pride in being the best dressed monster in Dade County.

Jeff Lindsay

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Jeff Lindsay
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: July 14
Novelist
Playwright
Writer
Miami
Florida
Jeffry P. Freundlich
Jeffry P. Lindsay
Wells
Pride
Well
Clothes
Always
Took
Courses
County
Course
Wore
Nice
Monster
Thought
Dressed
Best
Monsters

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They like to tell us that it is important to speak the truth, but it has been my experience that real happiness lies in having people tell you what you want to believe, usually not the same thing at all, and if you have to stub your toe on the truth later, so be it.
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I waved to everybody. Some of them even waved back. They knew me, had seen me go by before, always cheerful, a big hello for everybody. He was such a nice man. Very friendly. I can’t believe he did those horrible things . . .
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Me, feeling. What a concept.
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What to wear? I could think of no guidelines on what we were wearing this season to a party forced on you to celebrate an unwanted engagement that might turn into a violent confrontation with a vengeful maniac. Clearly brown shoes were out, but beyond that nothing really seemed de rigueur.
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I'm a very neat monster.
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For my part, my interest in Paris had faded away completely long ago when I learned that it was in France.
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I know family comes first, but shouldn't that mean after breakfast?
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I sighed as comforting as it may be to some of us, sarcasm, like youth, is wasted on the young.
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Really now: If you can't get me my newspaper on time, how can you expect me to refrain from killing people?
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Life teaches us that human thought almost never walks hand in hand with logic, and it is usually counterproductive to raise the point.
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Killing makes me feel good.
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I really am guilty, of many somethings, all of them lethal and very enjoyable and technically not quite legal.
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For the first time I could remember, I felt weak, woozy and stupid— like a human-being. Like a very small and helpless human-being.
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Of course it was a terrible thing, and the world would be a much better place without someone in it who could do that, but did that mean we had to miss lunch?
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I think people understand things different when they get older. It’s not a question of getting soft, or seeing things in the gray areas instead of black and white. I really believe I’m just understanding things different. Better.
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I often find myself in situations where it seems to me like everyone else has read the instruction book
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After a long moment I closed the freezer door. I wanted to lie down and press my cheek against the cool linoleum. Instead I reached out with my little finger and flipped the Barbie's head. It went thack thack against the door. I flipped it again. Thack thack. Whee. I had a new hobby.
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...being torn apart by far too many loyalties that could not possibly live together in the same brain.
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What a terrible thing life can be.
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But as I have noticed on more than one occaision, life itself is unfair, and there is no complaint department, so we might as well accept things the way they happen, clean up the mess, and move on.
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