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And so as much as I can, I care about her, dear Deborah. It's probably not love, but I would rather she were happy.
Jeff Lindsay
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Jeff Lindsay
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: July 14
Novelist
Playwright
Writer
Miami
Florida
Jeffry P. Freundlich
Jeffry P. Lindsay
Care
Much
Would
Love
Deborah
Dear
Probably
Rather
Happy
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I sighed as comforting as it may be to some of us, sarcasm, like youth, is wasted on the young.
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Really now: If you can't get me my newspaper on time, how can you expect me to refrain from killing people?
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After a long moment I closed the freezer door. I wanted to lie down and press my cheek against the cool linoleum. Instead I reached out with my little finger and flipped the Barbie's head. It went thack thack against the door. I flipped it again. Thack thack. Whee. I had a new hobby.
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But as I have noticed on more than one occaision, life itself is unfair, and there is no complaint department, so we might as well accept things the way they happen, clean up the mess, and move on.
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The key to a happy life is to have accomplishments to be proud of and purpose to look forward to, and at the moment I had both. How wonderful it was to be me.
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Me, feeling. What a concept.
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...my conscience has the same hard reality as a unicorn.
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I am unlovable...I have tried to involve myself in other people, in relationships, and even - in my sillier moments - in love. But it doesn't work. Something in me is broken or missing and sooner or later the other person catches me Acting or one of Those Nights comes along.
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She really did like me, the idiot.
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I'm a very neat monster.
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As I've said, freedom is really an illusion. Anytime we think we have a real choice, it just means we haven't seen the shotgun aimed at our navel.
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And then more quiet, silence so deep it almost drowned out the roar of the night music that pounded away in my secret self.
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I nodded with genuine synthetic sympathy.
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Life teaches us that human thought almost never walks hand in hand with logic, and it is usually counterproductive to raise the point.
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It's terrible to have to depend on someone else.
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A reasonable being might think that he and I could find some common ground have a cup of coffee and compare our Passengers, exchange trade talk and chitchat about dismemberment techniques. But no: Doakes wanted me dead. And I found it difficult to share his point of view.
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Mutilated corpses with a chance of afternoon showers. I got dressed and went to work.
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Or was he saying, Hi! Wanna play? And I did. Of course I did.
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IN MY LIFELONG STUDY OF HUMAN BEINGS, I HAVE FOUND that no matter how hard they might try, they have found no way yet to prevent the arrival of Monday morning. And they do try, of course, but Monday always comes, and all the drones have to scuttle back to their dreary workaday lives of meaningless toil and suffering.
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They like to tell us that it is important to speak the truth, but it has been my experience that real happiness lies in having people tell you what you want to believe, usually not the same thing at all, and if you have to stub your toe on the truth later, so be it.
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