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I had killed our careful relationship by driving my tongue through its heart and pushing it off a cliff.

Jeff Lindsay

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Jeff Lindsay
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: July 14
Novelist
Playwright
Writer
Miami
Florida
Jeffry P. Freundlich
Jeffry P. Lindsay
Driving
Tongue
Careful
Relationship
Heart
Cliff
Cliffs
Pushing
Killed

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For the first time I could remember, I felt weak, woozy and stupid— like a human-being. Like a very small and helpless human-being.
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When faced with people who have very limited conversational skills and no apparent desire to cultivate any it's always easier to simply go along.
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But as I have noticed on more than one occaision, life itself is unfair, and there is no complaint department, so we might as well accept things the way they happen, clean up the mess, and move on.
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I'm a very neat monster.
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Anybody can be charming if they don't mind faking it, saying all the stupid, obvious, nauseating things that a conscience keeps most people from saying. Happily, I don't have a conscience. I say them.
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I'm quite sure more people fake an awful lot of everyday human contact. I just fake all of it. --Dexter
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I don't know if you have noticed this, but it is quite possible for two human beings to have a conversation in which one or both parties involved has absolutely no idea what they're talking about.
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But what could I do? Be stupid for a while? I wasn't sure I knew how, even after so many years of careful observation.
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Because I am an inhuman monster, I tend to be logical.
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And here I always thought morality was useless.
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No big deal. We all have blood in us, the trick is keeping it inside.
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The mind picks some very bad times to take a walk doesn't it?
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Could this be the Apocalypse ?
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It was such an unexpected and genuine smile that if I only had a soul I'm sure I would have felt quite guilty.
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Life's only obligation, afterall, was to be interesting.
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I really am guilty, of many somethings, all of them lethal and very enjoyable and technically not quite legal.
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Now I know what it is like to feel like a total idiot.
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Dying makes everyone weaker, subject to painful insight, and not always insight into any kind of special truth - it's just the approaching end that makes people want to believe they are seeing something in the line of a great revelation.
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What a terrible thing life can be.
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