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What a terrible thing life can be.

Jeff Lindsay

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Jeff Lindsay
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: July 14
Novelist
Playwright
Writer
Miami
Florida
Jeffry P. Freundlich
Jeffry P. Lindsay
Terrible
Thing
Life

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But of course, there's no rest for the wicked, which I certainly am as I said, no rest for the wicked.
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I rose to my knees, mouth dry and heart pounding, and paused to finger a rip in my beautiful Dacron bowling shirt. I pushed my fingertip through the hole and wiggled it at myself. Hello, Dexter, where are you going? Hello, Mr. Finger. I don't know, but I'm almost there. I hear my friends calling.
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Dying makes everyone weaker, subject to painful insight, and not always insight into any kind of special truth - it's just the approaching end that makes people want to believe they are seeing something in the line of a great revelation.
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A man can take only so much. Even a phony man like me.
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I'm a very neat monster.
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In its own way the kiss had been an act of murder.
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Of course it was a terrible thing, and the world would be a much better place without someone in it who could do that, but did that mean we had to miss lunch?
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Was insanity really easier to accept than unconsciousness?
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A reasonable being might think that he and I could find some common ground have a cup of coffee and compare our Passengers, exchange trade talk and chitchat about dismemberment techniques. But no: Doakes wanted me dead. And I found it difficult to share his point of view.
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But what could I do? Be stupid for a while? I wasn't sure I knew how, even after so many years of careful observation.
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She really did like me, the idiot.
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Now I know what it is like to feel like a total idiot.
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I looked around the store and what I saw was not very encouraging. There were rows and rows of violent toys...aisle after aisle of training devices for recreational slaughter. No wonder our world was such a mean and violent place...if we teach children that killing is fun, can we really be surprised if now and then someone is smart enough to learn?
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I nodded with genuine synthetic sympathy.
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This was just no fun. I wanted my brain back.
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I really am guilty, of many somethings, all of them lethal and very enjoyable and technically not quite legal.
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The mind picks some very bad times to take a walk doesn't it?
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IN MY LIFELONG STUDY OF HUMAN BEINGS, I HAVE FOUND that no matter how hard they might try, they have found no way yet to prevent the arrival of Monday morning. And they do try, of course, but Monday always comes, and all the drones have to scuttle back to their dreary workaday lives of meaningless toil and suffering.
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I thought about the nice clothes that I always wore. Well of course I did. I took pride in being the best dressed monster in Dade County.
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I'm quite sure more people fake an awful lot of everyday human contact. I just fake all of it. --Dexter
Jeff Lindsay