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Anybody can be charming if they don't mind faking it, saying all the stupid, obvious, nauseating things that a conscience keeps most people from saying. Happily, I don't have a conscience. I say them.

Jeff Lindsay

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Jeff Lindsay
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: July 14
Novelist
Playwright
Writer
Miami
Florida
Jeffry P. Freundlich
Jeffry P. Lindsay
Stupid
Nauseating
Saying
Faking
Mind
Happily
Things
Charming
People
Keeps
Obvious
Conscience
Anybody

More quotes by Jeff Lindsay

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Could this be the Apocalypse ?
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IN MY LIFELONG STUDY OF HUMAN BEINGS, I HAVE FOUND that no matter how hard they might try, they have found no way yet to prevent the arrival of Monday morning. And they do try, of course, but Monday always comes, and all the drones have to scuttle back to their dreary workaday lives of meaningless toil and suffering.
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The key to a happy life is to have accomplishments to be proud of and purpose to look forward to, and at the moment I had both. How wonderful it was to be me.
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Because I am an inhuman monster, I tend to be logical.
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Of course it was a terrible thing, and the world would be a much better place without someone in it who could do that, but did that mean we had to miss lunch?
Jeff Lindsay
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What to wear? I could think of no guidelines on what we were wearing this season to a party forced on you to celebrate an unwanted engagement that might turn into a violent confrontation with a vengeful maniac. Clearly brown shoes were out, but beyond that nothing really seemed de rigueur.
Jeff Lindsay
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In its own way the kiss had been an act of murder.
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I don't know if you have noticed this, but it is quite possible for two human beings to have a conversation in which one or both parties involved has absolutely no idea what they're talking about.
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After a long moment I closed the freezer door. I wanted to lie down and press my cheek against the cool linoleum. Instead I reached out with my little finger and flipped the Barbie's head. It went thack thack against the door. I flipped it again. Thack thack. Whee. I had a new hobby.
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I nodded with genuine synthetic sympathy.
Jeff Lindsay
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I waved to everybody. Some of them even waved back. They knew me, had seen me go by before, always cheerful, a big hello for everybody. He was such a nice man. Very friendly. I can’t believe he did those horrible things . . .
Jeff Lindsay
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But what could I do? Be stupid for a while? I wasn't sure I knew how, even after so many years of careful observation.
Jeff Lindsay
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I'm a very neat monster.
Jeff Lindsay
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Mutilated corpses with a chance of afternoon showers. I got dressed and went to work.
Jeff Lindsay
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Rectory always sounded to me like a place where you would find a proctologist.
Jeff Lindsay
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And here I always thought morality was useless.
Jeff Lindsay
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When faced with people who have very limited conversational skills and no apparent desire to cultivate any it's always easier to simply go along.
Jeff Lindsay
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Perhaps because I'll never be one, humans are interesting to me.
Jeff Lindsay
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been there done that, bought the t-shirt Chapter 2
Jeff Lindsay
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For my part, my interest in Paris had faded away completely long ago when I learned that it was in France.
Jeff Lindsay