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I often find myself in situations where it seems to me like everyone else has read the instruction book

Jeff Lindsay

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Jeff Lindsay
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: July 14
Novelist
Playwright
Writer
Miami
Florida
Jeffry P. Freundlich
Jeffry P. Lindsay
Book
Situations
Like
Situation
Read
Everyone
Often
Else
Seems
Find
Instruction

More quotes by Jeff Lindsay

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I sighed as comforting as it may be to some of us, sarcasm, like youth, is wasted on the young.
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I had killed our careful relationship by driving my tongue through its heart and pushing it off a cliff.
Jeff Lindsay
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I rose to my knees, mouth dry and heart pounding, and paused to finger a rip in my beautiful Dacron bowling shirt. I pushed my fingertip through the hole and wiggled it at myself. Hello, Dexter, where are you going? Hello, Mr. Finger. I don't know, but I'm almost there. I hear my friends calling.
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I looked around the store and what I saw was not very encouraging. There were rows and rows of violent toys...aisle after aisle of training devices for recreational slaughter. No wonder our world was such a mean and violent place...if we teach children that killing is fun, can we really be surprised if now and then someone is smart enough to learn?
Jeff Lindsay
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I'm a very neat monster.
Jeff Lindsay
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Feeling - what authentic human fun!
Jeff Lindsay
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Mutilated corpses with a chance of afternoon showers. I got dressed and went to work.
Jeff Lindsay
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It really is better to be lucky than to be good.
Jeff Lindsay
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IN MY LIFELONG STUDY OF HUMAN BEINGS, I HAVE FOUND that no matter how hard they might try, they have found no way yet to prevent the arrival of Monday morning. And they do try, of course, but Monday always comes, and all the drones have to scuttle back to their dreary workaday lives of meaningless toil and suffering.
Jeff Lindsay
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It was such an unexpected and genuine smile that if I only had a soul I'm sure I would have felt quite guilty.
Jeff Lindsay
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Or was he saying, Hi! Wanna play? And I did. Of course I did.
Jeff Lindsay
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you can’t use logic on human behavior.
Jeff Lindsay
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Was insanity really easier to accept than unconsciousness?
Jeff Lindsay
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What to wear? I could think of no guidelines on what we were wearing this season to a party forced on you to celebrate an unwanted engagement that might turn into a violent confrontation with a vengeful maniac. Clearly brown shoes were out, but beyond that nothing really seemed de rigueur.
Jeff Lindsay
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First things first has always been my motto, mostly because it makes absolutely no sense - after all, if first things were second or third, they wouldn't be first things, would they? Still, cliches exist to comfort the feeble minded, not to provide any actual meaning.
Jeff Lindsay
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Perhaps because I'll never be one, humans are interesting to me.
Jeff Lindsay
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No big deal. We all have blood in us, the trick is keeping it inside.
Jeff Lindsay
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And as we should all know by now, anytime you predict failure you have an excellent chance of being right.
Jeff Lindsay
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But as I have noticed on more than one occaision, life itself is unfair, and there is no complaint department, so we might as well accept things the way they happen, clean up the mess, and move on.
Jeff Lindsay
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...being torn apart by far too many loyalties that could not possibly live together in the same brain.
Jeff Lindsay