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I often find myself in situations where it seems to me like everyone else has read the instruction book

Jeff Lindsay

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Jeff Lindsay
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: July 14
Novelist
Playwright
Writer
Miami
Florida
Jeffry P. Freundlich
Jeffry P. Lindsay
Read
Everyone
Often
Else
Seems
Find
Instruction
Book
Situations
Like
Situation

More quotes by Jeff Lindsay

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The mind picks some very bad times to take a walk doesn't it?
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I don't know if you have noticed this, but it is quite possible for two human beings to have a conversation in which one or both parties involved has absolutely no idea what they're talking about.
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I had killed our careful relationship by driving my tongue through its heart and pushing it off a cliff.
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Anybody can be charming if they don't mind faking it, saying all the stupid, obvious, nauseating things that a conscience keeps most people from saying. Happily, I don't have a conscience. I say them.
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Because I am an inhuman monster, I tend to be logical.
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Mutilated corpses with a chance of afternoon showers. I got dressed and went to work.
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And as we should all know by now, anytime you predict failure you have an excellent chance of being right.
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Life teaches us that human thought almost never walks hand in hand with logic, and it is usually counterproductive to raise the point.
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Really now: If you can't get me my newspaper on time, how can you expect me to refrain from killing people?
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They like to tell us that it is important to speak the truth, but it has been my experience that real happiness lies in having people tell you what you want to believe, usually not the same thing at all, and if you have to stub your toe on the truth later, so be it.
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you can’t use logic on human behavior.
Jeff Lindsay
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I rose to my knees, mouth dry and heart pounding, and paused to finger a rip in my beautiful Dacron bowling shirt. I pushed my fingertip through the hole and wiggled it at myself. Hello, Dexter, where are you going? Hello, Mr. Finger. I don't know, but I'm almost there. I hear my friends calling.
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I nodded with genuine synthetic sympathy.
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Of course it was a terrible thing, and the world would be a much better place without someone in it who could do that, but did that mean we had to miss lunch?
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I sighed as comforting as it may be to some of us, sarcasm, like youth, is wasted on the young.
Jeff Lindsay
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And once again I found myself wondering, as I drifted off to stunned and unbelieving sleep:How do these terrible things always happen to me?
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For my part, my interest in Paris had faded away completely long ago when I learned that it was in France.
Jeff Lindsay
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I really am guilty, of many somethings, all of them lethal and very enjoyable and technically not quite legal.
Jeff Lindsay
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...being torn apart by far too many loyalties that could not possibly live together in the same brain.
Jeff Lindsay
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And here I always thought morality was useless.
Jeff Lindsay