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Really now: If you can't get me my newspaper on time, how can you expect me to refrain from killing people?

Jeff Lindsay

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Jeff Lindsay
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: July 14
Novelist
Playwright
Writer
Miami
Florida
Jeffry P. Freundlich
Jeffry P. Lindsay
Refrain
Newspaper
Newspapers
Killing
Expect
Really
Time
People

More quotes by Jeff Lindsay

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I really am guilty, of many somethings, all of them lethal and very enjoyable and technically not quite legal.
Jeff Lindsay
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you can’t use logic on human behavior.
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I waved to everybody. Some of them even waved back. They knew me, had seen me go by before, always cheerful, a big hello for everybody. He was such a nice man. Very friendly. I can’t believe he did those horrible things . . .
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Life's only obligation, afterall, was to be interesting.
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After a long moment I closed the freezer door. I wanted to lie down and press my cheek against the cool linoleum. Instead I reached out with my little finger and flipped the Barbie's head. It went thack thack against the door. I flipped it again. Thack thack. Whee. I had a new hobby.
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I had killed our careful relationship by driving my tongue through its heart and pushing it off a cliff.
Jeff Lindsay
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I'm quite sure more people fake an awful lot of everyday human contact. I just fake all of it. --Dexter
Jeff Lindsay
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Life teaches us that human thought almost never walks hand in hand with logic, and it is usually counterproductive to raise the point.
Jeff Lindsay
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They like to tell us that it is important to speak the truth, but it has been my experience that real happiness lies in having people tell you what you want to believe, usually not the same thing at all, and if you have to stub your toe on the truth later, so be it.
Jeff Lindsay
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This was just no fun. I wanted my brain back.
Jeff Lindsay
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When faced with people who have very limited conversational skills and no apparent desire to cultivate any it's always easier to simply go along.
Jeff Lindsay
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I thought about the nice clothes that I always wore. Well of course I did. I took pride in being the best dressed monster in Dade County.
Jeff Lindsay
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Feeling - what authentic human fun!
Jeff Lindsay
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...my conscience has the same hard reality as a unicorn.
Jeff Lindsay
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Anybody can be charming if they don't mind faking it, saying all the stupid, obvious, nauseating things that a conscience keeps most people from saying. Happily, I don't have a conscience. I say them.
Jeff Lindsay
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In its own way the kiss had been an act of murder.
Jeff Lindsay
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Of course it was a terrible thing, and the world would be a much better place without someone in it who could do that, but did that mean we had to miss lunch?
Jeff Lindsay
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Dying makes everyone weaker, subject to painful insight, and not always insight into any kind of special truth - it's just the approaching end that makes people want to believe they are seeing something in the line of a great revelation.
Jeff Lindsay
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I sighed as comforting as it may be to some of us, sarcasm, like youth, is wasted on the young.
Jeff Lindsay
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First things first has always been my motto, mostly because it makes absolutely no sense - after all, if first things were second or third, they wouldn't be first things, would they? Still, cliches exist to comfort the feeble minded, not to provide any actual meaning.
Jeff Lindsay