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Really now: If you can't get me my newspaper on time, how can you expect me to refrain from killing people?

Jeff Lindsay

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Jeff Lindsay
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: July 14
Novelist
Playwright
Writer
Miami
Florida
Jeffry P. Freundlich
Jeffry P. Lindsay
Newspapers
Killing
Expect
Really
Time
People
Refrain
Newspaper

More quotes by Jeff Lindsay

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I waved to everybody. Some of them even waved back. They knew me, had seen me go by before, always cheerful, a big hello for everybody. He was such a nice man. Very friendly. I can’t believe he did those horrible things . . .
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What a terrible thing life can be.
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Life's only obligation, afterall, was to be interesting.
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It happens incompetence is rewarded more often than not.
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...being torn apart by far too many loyalties that could not possibly live together in the same brain.
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I really am guilty, of many somethings, all of them lethal and very enjoyable and technically not quite legal.
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Mutilated corpses with a chance of afternoon showers. I got dressed and went to work.
Jeff Lindsay
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The key to a happy life is to have accomplishments to be proud of and purpose to look forward to, and at the moment I had both. How wonderful it was to be me.
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I rose to my knees, mouth dry and heart pounding, and paused to finger a rip in my beautiful Dacron bowling shirt. I pushed my fingertip through the hole and wiggled it at myself. Hello, Dexter, where are you going? Hello, Mr. Finger. I don't know, but I'm almost there. I hear my friends calling.
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In its own way the kiss had been an act of murder.
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What to wear? I could think of no guidelines on what we were wearing this season to a party forced on you to celebrate an unwanted engagement that might turn into a violent confrontation with a vengeful maniac. Clearly brown shoes were out, but beyond that nothing really seemed de rigueur.
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Anybody can be charming if they don't mind faking it, saying all the stupid, obvious, nauseating things that a conscience keeps most people from saying. Happily, I don't have a conscience. I say them.
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No big deal. We all have blood in us, the trick is keeping it inside.
Jeff Lindsay
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And then more quiet, silence so deep it almost drowned out the roar of the night music that pounded away in my secret self.
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Our universe is ruled by random whim, inhabited by people who laugh at logic.
Jeff Lindsay
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As I've said, freedom is really an illusion. Anytime we think we have a real choice, it just means we haven't seen the shotgun aimed at our navel.
Jeff Lindsay
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This was just no fun. I wanted my brain back.
Jeff Lindsay
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Life teaches us that human thought almost never walks hand in hand with logic, and it is usually counterproductive to raise the point.
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I know family comes first, but shouldn't that mean after breakfast?
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...she opened the door very slowly and carefully, half hiding behind it, as if badly frightened of what might be waiting for her on the other side. And considering that it was me waiting, this showed rare common sense.
Jeff Lindsay