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Really now: If you can't get me my newspaper on time, how can you expect me to refrain from killing people?

Jeff Lindsay

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Jeff Lindsay
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: July 14
Novelist
Playwright
Writer
Miami
Florida
Jeffry P. Freundlich
Jeffry P. Lindsay
People
Refrain
Newspaper
Newspapers
Killing
Expect
Really
Time

More quotes by Jeff Lindsay

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I am unlovable...I have tried to involve myself in other people, in relationships, and even - in my sillier moments - in love. But it doesn't work. Something in me is broken or missing and sooner or later the other person catches me Acting or one of Those Nights comes along.
Jeff Lindsay
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What do you want a clock for?” “To find out what time it is,” I said. “I think that’s the usual purpose.
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But of course, there's no rest for the wicked, which I certainly am as I said, no rest for the wicked.
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It happens incompetence is rewarded more often than not.
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I waved to everybody. Some of them even waved back. They knew me, had seen me go by before, always cheerful, a big hello for everybody. He was such a nice man. Very friendly. I can’t believe he did those horrible things . . .
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Feeling - what authentic human fun!
Jeff Lindsay
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Perhaps because I'll never be one, humans are interesting to me.
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A man can take only so much. Even a phony man like me.
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I rose to my knees, mouth dry and heart pounding, and paused to finger a rip in my beautiful Dacron bowling shirt. I pushed my fingertip through the hole and wiggled it at myself. Hello, Dexter, where are you going? Hello, Mr. Finger. I don't know, but I'm almost there. I hear my friends calling.
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I often find myself in situations where it seems to me like everyone else has read the instruction book
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...she opened the door very slowly and carefully, half hiding behind it, as if badly frightened of what might be waiting for her on the other side. And considering that it was me waiting, this showed rare common sense.
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And once again I found myself wondering, as I drifted off to stunned and unbelieving sleep:How do these terrible things always happen to me?
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Rectory always sounded to me like a place where you would find a proctologist.
Jeff Lindsay
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What to wear? I could think of no guidelines on what we were wearing this season to a party forced on you to celebrate an unwanted engagement that might turn into a violent confrontation with a vengeful maniac. Clearly brown shoes were out, but beyond that nothing really seemed de rigueur.
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I sighed as comforting as it may be to some of us, sarcasm, like youth, is wasted on the young.
Jeff Lindsay
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A reasonable being might think that he and I could find some common ground have a cup of coffee and compare our Passengers, exchange trade talk and chitchat about dismemberment techniques. But no: Doakes wanted me dead. And I found it difficult to share his point of view.
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And then more quiet, silence so deep it almost drowned out the roar of the night music that pounded away in my secret self.
Jeff Lindsay
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I think people understand things different when they get older. It’s not a question of getting soft, or seeing things in the gray areas instead of black and white. I really believe I’m just understanding things different. Better.
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It really is better to be lucky than to be good.
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Because I am an inhuman monster, I tend to be logical.
Jeff Lindsay