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Really now: If you can't get me my newspaper on time, how can you expect me to refrain from killing people?

Jeff Lindsay

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Jeff Lindsay
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: July 14
Novelist
Playwright
Writer
Miami
Florida
Jeffry P. Freundlich
Jeffry P. Lindsay
People
Refrain
Newspaper
Newspapers
Killing
Expect
Really
Time

More quotes by Jeff Lindsay

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They like to tell us that it is important to speak the truth, but it has been my experience that real happiness lies in having people tell you what you want to believe, usually not the same thing at all, and if you have to stub your toe on the truth later, so be it.
Jeff Lindsay
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For my part, my interest in Paris had faded away completely long ago when I learned that it was in France.
Jeff Lindsay
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I'm quite sure more people fake an awful lot of everyday human contact. I just fake all of it. --Dexter
Jeff Lindsay
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It was such an unexpected and genuine smile that if I only had a soul I'm sure I would have felt quite guilty.
Jeff Lindsay
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I think people understand things different when they get older. It’s not a question of getting soft, or seeing things in the gray areas instead of black and white. I really believe I’m just understanding things different. Better.
Jeff Lindsay
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Anybody can be charming if they don't mind faking it, saying all the stupid, obvious, nauseating things that a conscience keeps most people from saying. Happily, I don't have a conscience. I say them.
Jeff Lindsay
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What a terrible thing life can be.
Jeff Lindsay
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I looked around the store and what I saw was not very encouraging. There were rows and rows of violent toys...aisle after aisle of training devices for recreational slaughter. No wonder our world was such a mean and violent place...if we teach children that killing is fun, can we really be surprised if now and then someone is smart enough to learn?
Jeff Lindsay
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Perhaps because I'll never be one, humans are interesting to me.
Jeff Lindsay
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Because I am an inhuman monster, I tend to be logical.
Jeff Lindsay
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Dying makes everyone weaker, subject to painful insight, and not always insight into any kind of special truth - it's just the approaching end that makes people want to believe they are seeing something in the line of a great revelation.
Jeff Lindsay
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I am unlovable...I have tried to involve myself in other people, in relationships, and even - in my sillier moments - in love. But it doesn't work. Something in me is broken or missing and sooner or later the other person catches me Acting or one of Those Nights comes along.
Jeff Lindsay
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After a long moment I closed the freezer door. I wanted to lie down and press my cheek against the cool linoleum. Instead I reached out with my little finger and flipped the Barbie's head. It went thack thack against the door. I flipped it again. Thack thack. Whee. I had a new hobby.
Jeff Lindsay
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But of course, there's no rest for the wicked, which I certainly am as I said, no rest for the wicked.
Jeff Lindsay
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In its own way the kiss had been an act of murder.
Jeff Lindsay
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And here I always thought morality was useless.
Jeff Lindsay
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you can’t use logic on human behavior.
Jeff Lindsay
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But as I have noticed on more than one occaision, life itself is unfair, and there is no complaint department, so we might as well accept things the way they happen, clean up the mess, and move on.
Jeff Lindsay
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Or was he saying, Hi! Wanna play? And I did. Of course I did.
Jeff Lindsay
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I had killed our careful relationship by driving my tongue through its heart and pushing it off a cliff.
Jeff Lindsay