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And then more quiet, silence so deep it almost drowned out the roar of the night music that pounded away in my secret self.

Jeff Lindsay

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Jeff Lindsay
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: July 14
Novelist
Playwright
Writer
Miami
Florida
Jeffry P. Freundlich
Jeffry P. Lindsay
Secret
Away
Pounded
Night
Roar
Music
Drowned
Self
Quiet
Deep
Silence
Almost

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Of course it was a terrible thing, and the world would be a much better place without someone in it who could do that, but did that mean we had to miss lunch?
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For the first time I could remember, I felt weak, woozy and stupid— like a human-being. Like a very small and helpless human-being.
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This was just no fun. I wanted my brain back.
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...my conscience has the same hard reality as a unicorn.
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Killing makes me feel good.
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Me, feeling. What a concept.
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She really did like me, the idiot.
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I nodded with genuine synthetic sympathy.
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A man can take only so much. Even a phony man like me.
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I am unlovable...I have tried to involve myself in other people, in relationships, and even - in my sillier moments - in love. But it doesn't work. Something in me is broken or missing and sooner or later the other person catches me Acting or one of Those Nights comes along.
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And once again I found myself wondering, as I drifted off to stunned and unbelieving sleep:How do these terrible things always happen to me?
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And as we should all know by now, anytime you predict failure you have an excellent chance of being right.
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Dying makes everyone weaker, subject to painful insight, and not always insight into any kind of special truth - it's just the approaching end that makes people want to believe they are seeing something in the line of a great revelation.
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I think people understand things different when they get older. It’s not a question of getting soft, or seeing things in the gray areas instead of black and white. I really believe I’m just understanding things different. Better.
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Life teaches us that human thought almost never walks hand in hand with logic, and it is usually counterproductive to raise the point.
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Life's only obligation, afterall, was to be interesting.
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I looked around the store and what I saw was not very encouraging. There were rows and rows of violent toys...aisle after aisle of training devices for recreational slaughter. No wonder our world was such a mean and violent place...if we teach children that killing is fun, can we really be surprised if now and then someone is smart enough to learn?
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Mutilated corpses with a chance of afternoon showers. I got dressed and went to work.
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But as I have noticed on more than one occaision, life itself is unfair, and there is no complaint department, so we might as well accept things the way they happen, clean up the mess, and move on.
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I had killed our careful relationship by driving my tongue through its heart and pushing it off a cliff.
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