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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Kill
Courses
Course
Alot
Hope
Illiteracy
America
Relatives
Stamp
Stamps
Someday
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
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You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
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You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
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You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.
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I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
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You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
Jeff Foxworthy
