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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Hope
Illiteracy
America
Relatives
Stamp
Stamps
Someday
Kill
Courses
Course
Alot
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
Jeff Foxworthy
You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
Jeff Foxworthy
People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
Jeff Foxworthy
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
Jeff Foxworthy
Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
Jeff Foxworthy
I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
Jeff Foxworthy
When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
Jeff Foxworthy
You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
Jeff Foxworthy
We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.
Jeff Foxworthy
I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
Jeff Foxworthy
You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
Jeff Foxworthy
It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
Jeff Foxworthy
