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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Stamp
Stamps
Someday
Kill
Courses
Course
Alot
Hope
Illiteracy
America
Relatives
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
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You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
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I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
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You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.
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You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
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As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.
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It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.
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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
Jeff Foxworthy
