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If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
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Atlanta
Georgia
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More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
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Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
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Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication
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You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
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You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
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I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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