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If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
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Atlanta
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Redneck

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You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
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You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
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It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
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I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.
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You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
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You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
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You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
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You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
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You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
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You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.
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People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.
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