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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Dog
Engines
Tree
Hanging
Feet
Tall
Break
Foot
Morning
Chains
Lives
Criminals
House
Grass
Engine
Kind
Gun
Chain
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
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I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
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You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
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You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
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When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
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You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
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You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.
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You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
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You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
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Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges he got guys off the fishing docks.
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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.
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To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
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